Lost and Lonely, But Slowly Recovering
by anotherbuskitten
Summary: AU. When Sirius escapes Azkaban he is disorientated and instead of finding the Dursley's home he ends up outside the house of a young auror.
1. Sirius

**I've sorted this story out so the tenses are first person and the punctuation's better than it was. I've probably still got a heap of mistakes though.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing you recognise from this or future chapters belongs to me.**

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><p><strong>C1 Sirius<strong>

I am running and running and running and running because I am scared. Scared of the darkness and the dreams and the screaming and the ghosts. Peter. Peter. Peter. Peter. Kill. Kill. Deathdeathdeath. Running. Running. Running. Running away from the tower and the darkness and the screaming and the memories. James and Lily dead. No. Mustn't remember. Need happy remember happy. So long ago happy James. James dead, dead, dead staring blaming. Myfault.

Yesterday darkness and Minister and paper and Rat. Today running and remembering and Freedom.

It is night time and I am huddled in a corner trying to escape the dreams. But this darkness is different it does not make me scream, scream, scream it comforts-hides-protects me. Now the darkness is my friend and I must fear the light.

It is new and scary and sometimes I long for the walls and the screams and the darkness.

Days and days and weeks and weeks of running and I am beginning to forget. Forget is nothing new it is always there but now I have forgotten humanity. I can't remember color or speech or holding and it scares me. Legs and arms and fingers and hair and voice and color. So, so bright. Human. Dog. Human. Dog. Human.

Dog.


	2. Tonks

**P2 Tonks**

The dog first came to the house on Tuesday, bringing with it mud and dirt and sorrow. I could see that in its eyes. It was thin as hell, dirty and ragged and had some scars. Charlie said that it must have been mistreated and I have to agree because when we went near it to fix it up it backed into a bush and quivered in fear. He came back for the next few days and we left food out each night.

Wednesday, three weeks after the Tuesday the dog finally came close enough to us that we could fix him up. He's definitely a male. Charlie had dubbed him Snuffles and was trying to train him. So far he had managed to teach him no tricks but instead Snuffles now knew that not everyone was cruel and Charlie knew that dogs are more constant than dragons and I knew that there would always be someone waiting at the end of the day.

Charlie was going back to Romania in a week and we were arguing over the dog. Snuffles had by now integrated himself into our lives and become a friend and confident. And now Charlie wanted to take him to Romania. Dragons. Aurors. Dragons. Aurors. Dragons.

Aurors.


	3. C3 Sirius

**P3 Sirius**

Safe. Safe. Safe. Safe with Weasley Number 4 and Cousin Dorrie Tonks. Safe.

But now WeasleyCharlie was leaving. I - SiriusPadfootSnuffles - am scared, scared of change and Aurors and darkness. WeasleyCharlie says he will come back but I can't believe him and wonder if the right time to run is now. Run to Hogwarts, to Harry, to Peter.

But I won't because Dorrie looks sad and I have abandoned too many people already.

Dorrie says she's going to start bringing people round to make up for Charlie not being there. She thinks I'm lonely. I think she's lonely.

The next day Dorrie brings home Alastor Moody who is training her and used to train me. I never really thought about it before but I really hope his eye can't see through animagi. Right now what scares me is not Peter killing Harry or returning to Azkaban but leaving Dorrie all alone.


	4. C4 MadEye

**P4 Mad-Eye**

The dog is watching me again. It has been all evening: staring at me with a mixture of fear and trust. Nymphadora said that it had been abused and acted like that to everyone but I know that isn't right. This was something else; it acted like it knew me and treated me with the respect only a student of mine would ever give. It reminded me of a student too. Its eyes were piercing grey and dogs don't have grey eyes. But the only reason I was seeing them as his eyes is because of the escape.

Black wasn't an Animagus.

But just in case I never mention the case in the house. And as soon as I'm alone with it I'm checking. Just not with Nymphadora there; she's too bloody protective of it.


	5. C5 Tonks

**P5 Tonks**

I was talking to Snuffles:

"What I don't understand is how come I have no friends, I mean I'm cheerful, friendly, outgoing and yet my only friends are Charlie and Mad-Eye and you of course," I add at his offended look. I pause, thinking over the problem. "And Kingsley I suppose, 'cept we don't talk much at the moment because of..." I shiver and Snuffles looks at me with concern. He doesn't know about Siri – no_ Black's_ escape and how no one trusts me because I only remember him as my kind, brotherly, completely idiotic cousin and am always defending him at work. "Because of Sirius Black, he's my cousin you see and he's just escaped Azkaban, that's our prison, which is supposed to be impossible and everyone's really scared because they," I let out a snort of contempt, "Think he's a murderer and worked for You-Know-Who. Oh, but you don't know who do you, well he was a really, really dark wizard, he's gone now though. Anyhow when I knew Sirius he was a really nice person and I don't think he could have changed that much. And the so-called eye-witnesses had their memories modified before handing in their statements – they could have seen anything."


	6. C6 Sirius

**Sirius**

I am going to write her a letter. A short simple letter just to say that I love her and to stay safe. And to ask her if she can get them to lay off the Dementors because there are far too many, and while they do scare me they also scare every other living thing and quite frankly I am used to them.

I wrote the letter then stuck it on the door of the house; I hope more than anything that she'll write back; even if just to see where I am and try to capture me.


	7. C7 MadEye

**Mad-Eye**

Nymphadora is acting off. I caught her crying over Kingsley's photos of Black earlier and she doesn't cry. I get that they're family and that this is hard for her but she's also family with the Malfoy's and she treats Lucius with hatred and contempt every time she sees him and would probably like nothing better than to send him to Azkaban. As would I; that man had been in half the fights that we ever made captures in and everyone knew it, damn government.

This line of thought makes me wonder though: why didn't Black try to buy his way out? The family's definitely rich enough and if he had joined Voldemort then he would have been welcomed back with honors. Odd. But Crouch always did go by the book.

Still it's a shame about Malfoy, wish we could get something on him.


	8. C8 Andromeda

**Andromeda**

Dora wants to talk to me and Ted, and I'm pretty sure I know what about. She had never been able to believe in Sirius' guilt. In my heart I know that I don't either. I could never think that of him and I will always wonder how other people could. Not the sheep who follow the Prophet but his so-called friends; he would have, hell he still would die for them and they thought he was His.

It makes me so angry all over again and I wave my wand so hard all the windows shatter. I fall to the floor and cry. And that is how Ted finds me: curled in a fetal position on the floor sobbing my heart out. He crouches down and holds me tight until I can stop crying and just lean on him shaking.


	9. C9 Ted

**Ted**

I love Sirius, I really do, because he has had a god-awful life and deserves some love (and because he forced me to propose to Dromeda and I owe him for that) but sometimes I really hate the man for hurting her like this.

All through the war she was terrified he'd get himself killed and instead he gets thrown into hell and I am positive he would prefer death and she isn't even able to mourn him (the bright happy teenager not the man from the wanted posters) because people are already suspicious of her for having been born a Black and if she starts defending Sirius she'll probably get dragged in by the ministry again.

The first time they questioned her I was so frightened that they would arrest her or at least stick Aurors round your house because I knew she wouldn't lie to the ministry and say she hated him and he betrayed her. She did tell one lie though: when they asked her if he'd contacted her she told them no and then said that her cousin was a proud and clever man and he would never do something that stupid. And that's a lie if ever I heard one.


	10. C10 Tonks

**P10** **Tonks**

I have just turned up at your parent's house eager to discuss Sirius' letter and introduce them to Snuffles. Except I've discovered that they had invited round Molly Weasley. Who is a lovely woman whom I've met numerous times before but who I am pretty sure believes Sirius to be a murderer.

She looks at me oddly when you come in and I feel like telling her to _'mind her own business and fuck off because this is your house and if anyone doesn't belong it's her.'_ At least you do until you realize she's staring at Snuffles who is already showing his feelings by baring his teeth and growling.

"Ah, Dora, I thought you were coming later," Mum says as she wipes her hand on a tea-towel and pulls me into a hug and starts fussing over me. She can tell what I came here to talk about by my hair which is currently dark bluish-black and my eyes which are bright silver. But we share a look and agree not mention Sirius while Molly's here.

"Mmm, well I felt a bit cooped up so I took Snuffles for a walk then got the Night Bus here."

Mum noticed Snuffles for the first time and stared at him in undisguised delight. My mother is most definitely a dog person and especially big dogs so I knew she'd let him in.

"Ooh, you got a dog and Snuffles did you call her?"

"Him, love." Says dad from the doorway, "The dog's a boy. And Snuffles is an awful name Dora."

"Charlie named him." I say defensively, "I wanted to call him, uh, Pippin." I hadn't really; I hadn't been able to think of any names but when Charlie said Snuffles the dog looked so happy.

"Tha's not a whole lot better." Said Dad wrinkling his eyebrows at me and trying to pet Snuffles.


	11. C11 Molly

**P11 Molly**

I like being round here, I like being with Andromeda; she's a lovely person and a good friend. But I have always felt awkward when you are with her and her daughter together. It is always very like there is a silent storm brewing between them; they are so different and so, so alike.

But when Nymphadora breaks down crying in the middle of lunch I am very surprised. And when the dog skulks in from the sitting room and pulls her off the chair so that it can curl around her I am even more surprised. And even more so when she lets herself be led away by the animal.


	12. C12 Sirius

**P12 Sirius**

I pull Dorrie into the other room wishing that I hadn't hurt her like this; it is definitely me who has caused her to feel like this; her looks have convinced me of that.

Ted comes into the room and starts muttering to her.

"What's the matter luv, what's happened?" She just keeps on crying into his shoulder and dotting my fur with tears.

"It's just, it's well, and I miss him. He sent me a letter, y'know just a short one, but."

"He sent us one too luv, just to say he loved us an' he might come round. Utter madness I know but no one ever called him sensible." I give a small indignant snort at this even though I know it's true; if I was sensible then I wouldn't be in this mess. Dorrie strokes my neck.

"That's all mine said too except without the coming round part, and well you live in a more secluded place." That and arriving in human form in an Aurors home, even if it was one who trusted me, would be suicide. And I wasn't quite that stupid. Yet.

"If he does come over you'd floo me wouldn't you?"

"Cause we would, of cause we would."

I start to wonder if this would be a good time to reveal myself but then Andy and Molly come in and start up a conversation.

"Are you alright now dear?" Molly asks,

"Yeah, I'm just stressed with work and all."

"Oh, of course; you're an Auror aren't you? I suppose Black's causing most of the trouble?"


	13. C13 Andromeda

**Andromeda**

There is a large awkward silence while Dora struggles for an answer with her hair changing color all the time. From blue to red to yellow to brown to green to pink to –

"Well I suppose he is causing the trouble and I am rather afraid," I could swear that my heart plummets several meters when she says this. "But probably for a different reason than you think." I feel like jumping for joy – she doesn't hate him! Molly looks shocked and I can tell then that this day will not end well.

"What do you mean, what is there to be afraid of except him killing thousands and bringing back You-Know-Who?"

"I am terribly scared for him because no matter what happens he will always be my older broth- cousin and right now he is probably scared and alone and I will not let him get hurt if I can help it!"

She stood up and pulling the dog with her left the room. I heard the pop of disapparition and then silence.

"Well, I'll be going then." Molly says.


	14. C14

**Sirius**

My Dorrie, my lovely, lovely Dorrie. She still loved me, wanted to protect me and thought of me as her brother. I am a really awful brother. First to Regulus then James and Remus and P-P-P, him and now to Dorrie. I wonder again if now is the right time to show myself but feel that I have lost the nerve. Partially because Mad-Eye has been here and he didn't trust me so it would be best not to show him that I'm here.

The next day I am up bright and early and desperate for a walk. So I do the obvious thing and make as much noise as possible: barking loudly, knocking things over and when those didn't work: yanking the covers of her bed. She woke up with a yelp of surprise at the sudden cold and glared at me; I gave her puppy-dog eyes and ran around in circles. She growled but took pity on me.

"Fine, fine. Just let me get dressed and I'll take you out."

I bark happily and run back down the stairs, then sit patiently at the door while she gets dressed.


	15. C15 Tonks

**15Tonks**

"Okay, then where do you want to go?" Snuffles woofed happily and chased some pigeons. I had completely gotten over my anger last night and am considering sending Molly some flowers and a note to say sorry for taking my stress out on her.

"Ooh, what about Hogsmeade: it's really nice and you probably haven't been before and Sirius is supposed to be around there." I mumble the last bit feeling rather embarrassed. So maybe I haven't quite gotten over my anger.

"Hogsmeade is beautiful in autumn isn't it boy?" I remark to Snuffles, not feeling the least bit upset anymore; the calming walk fixed that. The calm had now left the village and been replaced by Hogwartian students whom are one of the least calm things on the planet second only to five-year-olds on a sugar high and the ministry at the moment.


	16. C16 Remus

**16Remus**

It's a Hogsmeade weekend and I decide to join the students, running around, having bad dates and just generally having fun. And that's what I was doing, just having fun.

That is until I saw the young woman walking her dog. A dog that looked suspiciously like one Sirius Black's Animagus form. A dog that was trying to hide itself from my view.

I walk towards them; she can't know that she's walking a convicted murderer. But as I get closer I can hear her talking to him, could she possibly know?

"And then he told me that if I wanted to complain then I should talk to Fudge. And I mean I know that I should go to him but would he really listen to me? It's just; well they always seem to be there when I go round and he isn't even supposed to be there. And they don't know about the letter. And if he was a Black he wouldn't go there he'd go to Malfoy's but do they search his house? Noooo, just because he's rich." She ranted. The dog gave a small snort that I recognize as laughter.

I find that I am now right behind the woman and before I can stop myself I find myself saying,

"Where did you get that dog?"


	17. C17 Tonks

**P17 Tonks**

I stare at the man; if he recognized Snuffles that meant he had owned him before or had known the person who did. And Snuffles was wriggling away from him so he can't have been nice.

"I adopted him, why?" My voice is as icy as I am able to get it and I am pleased to see him give a small start.

"Uh, I think I know him."

"What's his name then?" I decide that if this man said a name that made Snuffles whine or act scared then I would hit the stranger and leave.

"Padfoot." Snuffles gave a small wince and hid his face. I reach up and slap him hard. Then I lay my hand on Snuffles' neck and disapparate. The last thing I feel is a hand grasping my wrist before I land back at the house.


	18. C18 rEMUS

**P18 Remus**

She staggers a little as we land; presumably from apparating two people and a dog; in fact I am amazed no one was splinched. I reach out to catch her before falling, but she slaps my hands away and raises her wand defensively.

"Stay back! What do you want with me?"

"I just want that dog." her expression darkens; obviously Sirius has charmed her rather well. I mentally groan and start again. "I mean, why did you slap me?" That wasn't what I had meant to say at all.

She raises her wand higher, "Snuffles is an amazing dog and you shouldn't have hurt him."

"Hurt him? I never touched him. Wish I had though." I grumble the last bit under my breath. She glowers at me. Then I realize something, "Snuffles?"

"Charlie named him not me! And if you didn't hurt him why was he shaking at the sight of you? Why did he run away when we stopped?"

"Probably to murder some small children." I mutter under my breath.

"Pardon?"

"Uh, I mean, he's probably just disorientated?" Not the worst thing I could've said even if 'small children' doesn't sound a whole lot like 'disorientated'. "Look can you put your wand down. I swear I won't hurt you or your dog." She lowered it slightly then flicked it up; my wand flew out of your pocket and into her hands. Oh fuck.


	19. C19 Sirius

**P19 Sirius**

I listen to their conversation from the next room while trying to patch up the cut I gained from the apparition with a few cushions and completely failing.

Remus appears to be intimidated by Dorrie which he probably wouldn't be if he remembered her as the eight year old he used to play dress-up with.

The conversation resumes,

"Right who are you and why are you so interested in my dog?"

"I'm Remus Lupin, I'm teaching at Hogwarts and if I was absolutely sure that it is a dog then I would leave you two alone."

At his name you can see her lowering her wand, "Remus Lupin? Sirius' friend?"

Remus looks immediately angry, "I am not his friend!" He snarls and I feel a sharp pain that has nothing to do with my injury. "I haven't been his friend for years and I probably never was. Filthy betraying traitors don't have friends." I really want to bite him at this; we had been friends. Good friends. Best friends. I let out a small growl without realizing it but Remus' gaze only flickers towards me before turning back to Dorrie. Who slapped him. Hard. Really hard.

"What was _that_ for?" He moans angrily, while rubbing his cheek and probably finding it hard to believe she would slap him for hating you.


	20. C20 Charlie

**P20 Charlie**

I can hear raised voices through the door so I knock loudly and call Dora.

I had been let off work a few days early and decided to visit Dora and Snuffles before going home to The Burrow. But now there seemed to be something wrong, perhaps she was arguing with someone from work: from what she said she didn't get on with many of them.

"Dora. Dora!" I call again, louder this time. The door opens and I breathe a sigh of relief. She squeals your name and hugs me, then pulls me into the house muttering about Hogwarts and delusional people and Sirius (you trust her judgment but don't really believe in Black's innocence) and Snuffles and plenty of other things that I don't catch.

When we reach the sitting room I see the man she had been shouting with. Dora introduces us: "Charlie, Remus. Remus, Charlie. Charlie Remus is under the impression;" she continues with her nostrils flared "That Snuffles and Sirius Black are one and the same."

I can't help it, I just have to laugh.


	21. C21 Sirius

**P21 Sirius**

I might as well get it over with; Charlie is more sensible than Dorrie despite the whole dragon thing. He will let Remus cast the spell to change me back. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I transform and immediately stumble; the gash in my side is a lot deeper as a human, luckily no one hears me over Charlie's loud laughter. I reach into your pocket and pull the only slightly ruined newspaper clipping then put it down on the floor and transform back.

I take a hold of a corner in your mouth and trot slowly into the room, where you walk over to Moony and sit in front of him; holding it out. They all seem a little surprised; while you had acted slightly more intelligent than the average dog they obviously hadn't expected that.

Remus leans down warily to take it and Charlie pulls me away to heal my cut, ahh that feels good, of course it will probably reopen when I next transform but oh well.


	22. C22 Remus

**C22 Remus**

Why on earth does Sirius want to show me a piece of ragged paper?

I stare at the newspaper clipping; it is a picture of the Weasley's in Egypt from an article in the Prophet, I hadn't read the article just passed it by; at the moment I was only getting the prophet for news on Black. The picture isn't very interesting; just the eight of them (Charlie isn't there) standing in a row. Percy has his Head-Boy pinned to the fez he's wearing, Fred and George are making bunny ears, Ginny's waving madly, Molly's smiling affectionately and Ron has something on his shoulder. You squint a little to see what it is then stop. Black gave this to me, what do I think I'm going find on it? And what was I hoping to find?

"I haven't got time for this. Change now!" I point my wand at him and glare.

The dog looks irritated and pushes the clipping back towards me.


	23. C23 Charlie

**C23 Charlie**

I watch the whole scene with Snuffles and the man named Remus with bemusement, though I do begin to worry. Snuffles seems abnormally intelligent and a seed of doubt has been planted in my mind.

I reach down and pick up the piece of paper, starting in surprise when I see the picture.

"But this is us, well not me, but my family."

Dora reaches out to pluck it from my fingers and stares, "What is this? What's going on?" She looked first at Remus who looked just as confused then at Snuffles who you are surprised to see looks slightly guilty. I point my wand at him and he flinches back, I am about to use the Animagus transformation spell on him when Dora pulls my arm back.

"What are you doing?"

"Look at the photo, that isn't a normal dog and what if he's right?" She still looks perplexed and I remember that she believes in Black's innocence.

She glares menacingly at us all and replies,

"Then we ask him to transform and explain what's going on, then if he doesn't we cast the spell."

Remus looked incredulously at her "This man destroyed countless lives and you want to _talk_ to him. Aren't you an Auror, shouldn't you have arrested him by now?"

There is a small pop and another voice chimes in, it is scratchy and sounds like it hasn't been used for a long time but the tone is one of sarcasm and distaste, "Merlin Remus, you sound just like the Ministry."


	24. C24 Sirius

**C24 Sirius**

Everyone just stares at me for a few moments before Charlie and Remus level their wands at me and Dorrie jumps on top of me yelling,

"Siri!"

"Uh, hey Dorrie." I say while trying to subtly shift her off. Realizing that the other two are about to curse me, I begin talking again.

"I mean you've got no talk of justice or anything just chuck me in a cell and be done. And I'd think Remus, that you at least would have a fine sense of justice considering all the prejudices concerning lycanthropes." They look at you quizzically clearly not understanding what I was talking about so I decide to start at the beginning,

"The Ministry, guys. I thought that they would be fair and yes all the evidence did point to me and I suppose laughing didn't help, but I couldn't help it and I know that Crouch didn't really like me but you would have thought they'd give me a trial. And then darkness, darkness, so, so dark. And then Fudge with the paper and I can see Peter and I have to get out and kill him and I meant to go to Hogwarts but I got lost and I didn't want to leave Dorrie all alone."

"What?" said Remus, "Could you repeat that a little slower? Actually just answer questions."

The questions all started at once so that I can't understand what they're saying.

"Oi shut up! Remus you go first" He looks surprised at my willingness to answer.

"Why did you betray Lily and James to Voldemort?" His voice is steady but I can tell he is trying to conceal his pain.

"I didn't." I say calmly but with a quiver of anger, even though I knew he wouldn't trust me his distrust still hurts, "We, I persuaded them to switch secret keepers, I thought that I was a too obvious choice and they needed a decoy, so we told everyone that it was me and then switched to Peter." His name comes out as a growl. I stare imploringly at Remus. "Please believe me."


	25. C25 Remus

**C25 Remus**

For the first time in twelve years I feel a flicker of doubt. The story isn't what does it, but the emotion in Sirius' eyes and voice. But before I can say anything Charlie interrupts with a question.

"So what's my family got to do with anything?" He asked, gesturing wildly at the paper. Sirius continued:

"Fudge comes round the prison and checks on us every so often and this time he had the prophet with him. I asked if I could have it – said I missed the crossword," his eyes flicker to mine and I know that like you he is remembering late-night crossword sessions with James, "I looked through it, it was the first news of the outside world I'd had in so long. And then I saw this picture, I didn't recognize them, my mind was too far gone but I recognized the rat on the boys arm." I reach over and gently tug the photo out of the woman's – Dora's – hands. I peer at the small blob on Ron's shoulder which I can now see is in fact a rat. A rat that looked like Peter. A rat that was missing a toe. I gasp. Sirius looks at me and then continues his story. "It was Peter, Peter who had betrayed Lily and James, orphaned Harry, sentenced me to hell and made sure that Remus would be left alone." He turns back to you, "Suddenly I had a purpose, I had to get out of there and I had to kill Peter, to protect Harry."

"So when you were saying 'He's at Hogwarts' you meant Peter?" Says Dora curiously; she at least had no trouble believing his tale.

"Yes." Sirius' voice was raspy and cracked; he probably hadn't spoken this much in years. "I wasn't happy about this so the Dementors couldn't suck it out of me. When the Dementors next came to feed me I slipped through the bars as a dog, and then err...floated to the shore. From there I tried to make my way to Hogwarts but I got a little lost and ended up here. I didn't intend to stay this long but when I realized that Dorrie lived here I just couldn't go; I already abandoned you once." He directs this last bit to Dora.


	26. C26 Tonks

**C26 Tonks**

I feel so alive; Sirius is safe, he loves me, he gave up his mission to stay with me. But I find myself with one more question.

"So why choose now to transform?"

"One of you would have made me anyway and it seems less like I'm trying to hide from you if I do it myself." He doesn't try to make himself sound good, he just talks. It's like he's under veritaserum.

"And I think Mad-Eye's outside your door." Before I can ask what he means he continues, "When he came here he didn't trust me and I think he did something so he'd know if I transformed. I had to change so that I could get the paper out of my pocket." He turned towards the door.

Remus stood up and walked over to the hallway, I can hear him opening the door,

"Hello Alastor."

And a much gruffer voice replies, "Lupin."

I groan but then stop and think: if Mad-Eye was outside the door listening the whole time maybe he believed Sirius too, Remus did after all.


	27. C27 MadEye

**C27 Mad-Eye**

This day is beginning to really surprise me and that has become rather hard to do. First I receive the alert that the dog is in fact Sirius Black. Then when I arrive outside the house I hear his voice; rough and clearly unused for a long time but still unmistakably his. And he was just talking, explaining something about a rat and Peter Pettigrew and the others – Nymphadora, Charlie Weasley and Remus Lupin – are letting him; none of them have attacked although Weasley and Lupin are pointing their wands at him. And now I hear that he knew I was here all along. I had forgotten that the boy was one of the best Aurors you had ever taught.

I admit that if pressed to choose between whom I would expect to betray the potters: Black or Pettigrew I would have gone with Pettigrew; he was a weak, cowardly boy and Black was brave and loyal and a magnificent Auror and I can't help but hope that he is telling the truth.

I let Lupin lead me through to the sitting room where they were gathered, as though round a campfire. Black nods to me,

"Sir. I was never formally dismissed; technically I'm still on the team." He continues at my questioning look.

"Well I'm retired so _technically_ I'm not in charge." he groans,

"It's not Crouch is it?" It amazes me how easily I can slip into banter with the man. He's a convict for Merlin's sake. And yet I still can't help but answer.

"No, no. He was demoted after the debacle with his son, did you hear about that?" He nods,

"Bellatrix told me." He gives a small shiver but quickly recovers, "Who is it then?"

"Rufus Scrimgeour." Black shakes a little but grins.

"Yeah, I know him." He then turns to Lupin.

"Remus, do you believe me?"


	28. C28 Remus

**C28 Remus**

The question startles me even though I knew it would come. I suppose that is the effect of seeing him talk to Mad-Eye as though nothing had happened.

"I believe that Peter is alive but I need proof of everything else." Hurt flashes across his face.

"I, I don't have any." He looks distraught but then brightens up, "I'll take veritaserum though." His expression is so hopeful that I hate myself for what I have to say next.

"Do you have any? Because the Ministry's never going to let you have a trial, not after all this time and nothing but your word to go on. And any way didn't you and James mess about with ways to be immune to it? It might not work."

He looks scared now; who wouldn't be at the prospect of the Azkaban? "Memories then, I'll show you anything." His voice is laced with desperation, he is pleading with you.

Mad-Eye's gruff voice breaks into our conversation. I start; for a moment I had forgotten anyone else was there. "Memories can be tampered with."

"I haven't had a wand for twelve years, when am I going to have messed with them. Even if I had a wand I wouldn't know the spell." I feel a twinge of hope; if he really was telling the truth I would have a friend again, unless, what if he wouldn't forgive me for all the mistrust? What would I do then?

"You've been living in witches home for a long time now – you could have taken her wand then obliviated her. And as for not knowing the spell, well all we've got is your word."

"You would have known though; you had that spell up."

"Half the Ministry thinks I'm senile boy, do you really think that would hold up?"

Sirius is casting around for something, anything to help him and I have an idea, "I could go and get Peter, then they'll have to at least give you a trial."


	29. C29 Ron

**C29 Ron**

The school's panicking because no one knows where Professor Lupin is. It was a Hogsmeade weekend but everyone's back now and you don't know what happened but someone had to find Lupin and it appears he's nowhere in the castle. Rumors say that Sirius Black has captured and killed him and it's starting to look kind of likely.

Some students are going on about the curse, whatever that is. Snape is looking rather triumphant; like he knew this would happen all along.

"Ah Ronald." I give a small (and completely manly) yelp of surprise, making Harry and Hermione who are a few steps ahead of me discussing transfiguration homework turn around. I swivel my head slightly to see the person; half expecting it to be Dumbledore – he's the only person who can creep up on people like that – but its Lupin.

"Where've you been sir?" I mentally smack myself for blurting that out and can almost hear Hermione rolling her eyes. But Lupin just smiles.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that. I was wondering if you had your rat on you?"

"Scabbers? Yeah I've got him." I pull Scabbers out but before I can hand him to Professor Lupin he bites my finger and runs down the hall,

"Scabbers!" I yell and at the same time Professor Lupin shouts out

"STUPEFY!" A flash of red light and Scabbers falls to the side with a barely audible thump.


	30. C30 Remus

**C30 Remus**

I feel like doing a happy dance right there in the corridor but settle for mentally cheering. Peter's flight is practically a confession and I really would like Sirius back. After a few seconds I realize that the children are staring back and forth between me and the rat in incredulous disbelief. I smile at them in what I hope is a reassuring manner and flick my wand up while thinking '_accio_' and Peter zooms straight towards me.

Now all I need to do is get out of here before someone (read: Snape) turns up.

Too late.

"Ahah, Lupin. Where have you been all morning and what is going on here?"

I panic and it must show in my face because Snape smirks, I grasp in my mind for a believable excuse, "I found Black!" Oops, well at least it wasn't a lie, "I'm pretending to be on his side. He's so happy at being treated as a person that he hasn't done anything. Yet."

Snape obviously doesn't believe a word of it and the children seem to still be in shock although Hermione looks to be coming out of it.

"Um, Professor." Both Snape and I both snap to face her, "Why do you need Scabbers?"

"Scabbers?" We say in unison.

"Ron's rat." She explains patiently. Snape looks a mixture of furious at being spoken to so condescendingly by a student and intrigued by the fact that I and thus Sirius need a rat.

"Yes, Lupin, do you want to explain why Black needs a rat."

I'm thinking to myself: _lie, lie, lie, lie_ "He thinks that this rat is Peter in disguise." Shit.

"Pettigrew? Black thinks that Pettigrew is hiding as a rat? And, incidentally where is Black? I don't suppose you've left him wandering the castle." He quirks an eyebrow.

"The Shrieking Shack." Shit; now he's going to check and he'll know I'm lying "And before you ask he is not alone. Alastor Moody is with him."

"Moody." Snape looks skeptical, "The same Moody who hates Death Eaters more than anyone else on the planet, is harboring a criminal and actually doing what he asks?" When put like that it does sound rather unbelievable.

"Mmm," I reply, "That Moody."

"Well would you like me to firecall the minister; I'm sure he would appreciate an end to Black." I notice the way he phrases this sounds as though Fudge will kill Sirius not throw him back in prison and feel that I might be missing something,

"Err, don't you mean an end to Black's case?"

"Don't you read the paper, Lupin? The ministry has authorized the kiss when the Dementors find him." I feel the color slowly leaving my face but see vindictive looks on both Snape's and, surprisingly, Harry's faces. Somehow, I realize, Harry must've heard about the betrayal.


	31. C31 Tonks

**C31 Tonks**

The whole time Remus had been gone Sirius had been talking; rambling on and on about anything and everything as though we would kill him if he stopped. It scares you but you can't bring yourself to ask him to stop. He is sitting on the floor holding his knees and rocking back and forth. You made everyone tea but he hasn't drunk anything just stared at it like a he'd never seen tea before. Sirius tops talking and gasps for breath and Moody takes advantage of the silence to ask a question

"Why didn't you say anything about switching to Dumbledore; you could be sure that he wasn't the traitor?"

"There wasn't time: he betrayed them the next day. And we didn't want to say it aloud – we never actually said that there was a traitor just that they needed extra protection. We never admitted that someone wasn't on our side." He gives a small snort of laughter but his eyes hold no amusement.

"Why did you laugh?" Charlie asks, his voice harsher than you have ever heard it, "When the street blew up," you notice he doesn't blame Sirius for that and feel a flicker of hope, "You laughed, why?"

Sirius looks stumped but does his best to answer anyway, "Because Black's don't cry.

All my childhood I had that beaten into me – crying is for the weak – and if you can't cry what else is there to do but laugh. Hide your emotions behind a mask of smiles and pretend nothings wrong. And it worked didn't it? I never showed my emotions, never let people past my walls so no one could ever be sure they knew the real me. Did no one doubt?" He says the last part to Mad-Eye.

_Did no one doubt?_

You want to tell him that you never believed and neither did mum or dad but you don't because you realise that he must already know. This time he wants to know if people he believed in ever believed in him.

Mad-Eye heaved a sigh and opened his mouth. "You have to understand. You'd been acting suspicious for ages and after what happened with the Prewetts –" Charlie flinches, you remember him talking about the Prewetts; they were his mothers brothers, his own uncles, but Sirius only looks confused.

"What happened with the Prewetts? They died; Dolohov killed them didn't he? I had nothing to do with it."

"Ah. I didn't realise you didn't know. The night they died they were supposed to be meeting you. It was an ambush."

"Oh. Oh. Well I can imagine how that looked but I swear I never asked them to meet me."

"No I don't suppose you did. Well at the time I didn't doubt that you were the traitor but right now I think you're innocent so will you forgive me?" Sirius' eyes widen in hope and surprise,

"You, you believe me?"

"I suppose I do" he reaches over and pats Sirius gruffly on the shoulder – the closet thing to affection you have ever seen from the man.


	32. C32 Harry

**C32 Harry**

When Lupin and Snape first start talking you only feel confusion but when they mention Black you become interested; you had just found out, only a few hours before, that Black had betrayed your parents to Voldemort that it was his fault they were dead. You do wonder certain things: why would Black believe Lupin was his friend? And what was the kiss? Snape said the word with such relish that it must be something bad and Black deserves the worst.

They're still arguing it seems that Snape wants to go back with Lupin to capture Black, but Lupin is speaking:

"Severus if you come with me he'll know something's up and get away. Leave it alone, firecall the minister if you must but don't come with me." Lupin's voice shows finality and Snape must hear it too because he turns around and stalks off.

For a moment Lupin looks worried but quickly masks it and smiles warily at us, "Well thank you for your help Ronald" he makes to walk away but is stopped when Ron blurts out

"What's Black going to do to him, professor?"

Lupin's smile falters as he answers, "Nothing, nothing at all. Unless of course it is Peter in which case I suspect Sirius really would do the murder he is famous for. But that is unlikely."

"That the rat is Peter Pettigrew?" You ask

"No, that is quite likely the unlikely thing is that we would let Sirius kill someone." He turns around and heads towards an empty classroom.

He throws floo powder into a fireplace you hadn't noticed before and shouts: "14 Wrackfeld Lane"

He disappears and you glance at Ron who nods his head encouragingly and Hermione who bites her lip but looks curious despite herself. You copy Lupin's actions and step into the fire.

* * *

><p><strong>The next ones longer and better than this I promise.<strong>

**Also I know the timeline in this is a little sqewerwed but if it wasn't the story would never move.**


	33. C33 Sirius

**C33 Sirius**

You feel fit to burst – happier than you have in so, so long – Dorrie believes you. Alastor believes you. Remus' resolve to hate you is crumbling. All you need now is Peter and it will be alright.

The fire flares up and Remus steps out clutching a rat. He starts to talk fast. "I ran into Snape," you feel you face twist in puzzlement; what is Snape doing at Hogwarts? "I told him we were in the shrieking shack. I know it was stupid but I panicked. He er, might be contacting the ministry now as well," he is about to continue when the fire flares up for a second time. Dorrie and Remus spin round and point their wands at it but instead of Snape stepping forward it is three teenagers who stumble out.

You stare at the middle one: he looks so like James, Harry, James' hairfacesize James James James. Everyone is looking at you and you realise that you said the name out loud. Embarrassed you stare at the ground wishing you could control yourself. "S-Sorry"

"This is Harry Sirius not James" Remus says softly and you want to tell him that you don't need his pity but hold yourself back. He crouches down next to you and strokes your shoulders to relax you.

Harry. Yes you remember Harry. He was the reason you broke out to begin with after all but the Harry you remember is a baby and you cannot, however hard you try, connect the baby with this teen. So instead you whisper 'James' again and hold onto the wish that this is your greatest friend come back. You do not look at the other two children because you know they will ruin the illusion.

"No. Harry, remember. James is dead."

Those three simple words (words you know in your heart are true but cannot bring yourself to admit out loud) make you lash out and hit your friend as hard as you can.

"HE. IS. NOT. DEAD. THEY ARE NOT DEAD. They're not, they can't be. They can't die"

Remus releases your shoulders and pulls you into a hug murmuring comforting words. But all the hugs in the world cannot cure you of this fear. The fear that the world is right that James&LilyPotter did die that night. Because you had hoped for so long that in your panic on Halloween you made a mistake and they lived. They lived. They had to be alive, they couldn't be dead they just couldn't so you never say the words aloud because that would (in your mind at least) make it real.

The boy HarryJames looks at you in puzzlement and anger you know that he must hate you for what happened. You ignore him and instead curl into Remus' arms and pretend that you are still twenty-one and 31October1981 never happened. Remus picks you up and you can hear him asking Dorrie where a spare bed is, but that doesn't make sense how would Dorrie know; she's only eight, but still Remus takes you down a corridor and lays you on the soft, soft so, so soft bed. He sits next to you and steadies you. "Have a rest Pads, it'll be alright in the morning." You nod and curl up but can't quite find it in yourself to believe him.


	34. C34 Remus

**A/N Sorry about not updating for ages my computers had three seperate break-downs in about a day. I still won't update for a bit but here you go :)**

* * *

><p><strong>Remus<strong>

"Is he alright?" Said Tonks as soon as you got outside.

"No. I think he thinks it's still 1981." _I think he wants it to be _but you don't voice your thoughts because why would anyone want to be back there, in that time of death and suffering and _war. _How could Sirius want that? But he did and it was that rat's fault.

"We explained to the kids but I don't think they believe us, should we send them back to school?"

"Don't bother, they'll just go and tell everyone - it's bad enough Snape knows."

We went back into the main room; the children looked a mixture of confused and interested. Moody looked frustrated and Charlie looked worried.

"Can we get this over with?" You say.

"No!" Shouted Moody just as you were about to say the spell, "We'll need somewhere to put him once he's up."

"Spare bedroom, attic?" Tonks offers but Moody shakes his head,

"No he might find a way out." They think about the problem while you silently steam. Eventually you crack.

You conjure a bird cage "Look we'll stick in this and make so he can't change alright? Now can I do it?"

They catch your impatient tone and move aside. You raise your wand, flick it upwards and think the spell. Silvery blue light flashes and Peter Pettigrew is standing in front of us.

Several things happen at once: you, Tonks and Moody all fire spells. The two Weasley's jerk back in shock and horror. Peter falls to the floor.

And from the other room we hear a terrible scream.


	35. C35 Harry

**Harry**

Professor Lupin makes to stand but before he can you find yourself saying,

"Can I go?" Professor Lupin looks wary but, after a short pause, nods. You can see Ron and Hermione looking scared; they don't seem to believe in Black's innocence. You on the other hand are excited if Black is innocent and your godfather that means you could have a proper family and you want to get to know him.

When you reach the small, plain bedroom you see Black lying curled up and shaking on the floor. When you enter he jerks back looking wild and truely afraid of what ever it is he has seen.

He raises his head and you catch a glimpse of animalistic ferocity in his eyes before they light up and he relaxes.

"James" his voice is harsh and scratchy and you want to correct his mistake; tell him that you are not your father but find that you cannot find the words, "James, James, James, oh Merlin I saw such horrible things Prongs." Prongs? Like on the Marauders Map, but you don't ask, don't interupt the stream of words, "You were dead and Lily was dead and Harry was screaming and the house had collapsed and it was so dark. And it was Peter, Peter, Wormtail – he betrayed you James and you were dead. And James...you look so young, how old are we James?"

Your heart breaks for this man who has lost so much and stands to lose it all again.

"It's 1994 and I'm sorry but I'm not James, I'm Harry." His eyes widen and he curls into a ball, hiding from the world and ecspecially from you.

You sit down next to him and rub his back in what is hopefully a comforting manner.

"It's alright. We believe you; they caught Pettigrew. It's okay." He gives a hiccuppy snort that quickly turns into full out hysterical laughter which you take to mean that he no longer believes in 'okay.' You search for something to distract him,

"I heard that you're my godfather, is that true?"

He nods clumsily and pulls further away from you .

"M'sorry." Your face twists into a confused expression that you know Black cannot see as he is staring fixedly at the wall.

"What for? You haven't done anything."

"For not being there, for leaving. For giving up. For thinking you were James. For getting them killed!" His voice which had been rising steadily has turned into a whimper by the end.

"That wasn't your fault." You say plaintivily, "You were trying to protect them, not hurt them." You notice that he twitches on the word 'trying' as though that was your point – to remind him of his mistake. You flounder for something to make him understand and are relieved when Lupin sticks his head through the door.

"Hey, I've got some potions for you Sirius" he kneels down in front of Black and holds a bottle to his mouth. Black parts his lips obligingly for the two potions then collapses into Lupins arms. Lupin smiles down at him then lifts him into his arms as easily as if Black were made of straw and carries him to the bed.

"A sleeping draft and some dreamless sleep, he should only be out for an hour maybe two." He settles next to you and continues. "Moody has gone to fetch Fudge and I suspect, Dumbledore, which may mean Snape coming..." he trails off in thought.

"What's wrong with Snape coming?" You ask to fill the silence.

"Oh, he and Sirius have a long standing grudge, he probably wouldn't help matters."

You think about this but don't ask the obvious question; you don't want to hear about Black's misdeeds.

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><p><strong>I think this mightbe my longest chapter yet!<strong>

**Please review.**


	36. C36 Moody

**Mad-Eye**

Fudge is being, surprising, rather stubborn and to make matters worse Snape has arrived with Albus before you got there and has already convinced him to bring the dementors straight over. Although I doubt Corneilius put up too much fight.

Albus does seem to want to see Sirius but not enough to actuall fight for it.

You notice a lapse in the conversation and jump in.

"You can't take dementors into someones home. And it will be awful publicity if he turns out to be innocent and you've already had him kissed." There that ought to get him.

"Well, I, uh, that is to say."

"Maybe we should go and see what Black has to say Cornielius." Ah Albus; always the diplomat.

"Well I suppose, Dumbledore if you think that it's the best option." Snape scowls.

"I do. Lead the way Alastor." You do so – calmly while smirking at Fudge. The only good thing that came from retirement was not having to have meetings with the fool.

You come through the floo to find Tonks and Weasley chatting and the others standing around awkwardly. Sirius is still missing. The cage holding Pettigrew is sitting on a box Nymphadora has as a substitute for a coffee table. The others come soon straight after you: Dumbledore greeted everyone pleasently, Snape sneered – mainly at Potter and Lupin and Fudge tried to look importent.

"Oh, uh" Nymphadora makes to get up but trips and stumbles into Lupin who sets her straight. She blushes slightly and murmers her thanks. "Would you like a drink anyone? Tea, coffee?"

Albus is the only one to respond, "A cup of tea would be lovely Nymphadora." She grimaces at the name but doesn't bother to correct him.

"I'll get it – you're more of a part of this." Charlie leaves. You see Potter mutter something to Lupin that makes Lupin look worried and leave the room.

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><p><strong>Not much to say here. The next chapter should be up on Thursday.<strong>


	37. C37 Sirius

**Sirius**

You can hear low whispery voices and one maybe two men shouting. You can feel an arm around you, a hand stroking you hair; a comfort that you do not deserve but cannot push away.

"Is he alright now?" A young impatient voice asks. It sounds friendly and stirs _something_ in you. You hope his friend is alright.

"I don't know Harry, we'll just have to wait." The body behind you vibrates; the man holding you also sound's nice and just as before lets you feel.

"But he should have woken up by now shouldn't he?" The first voice (Harry?) pesters the second.

"He's coming round." A third voice still young but this one does not fill you with the sense of hope and comfort like the two before it.

"Shh" says Harry

"Sorry Harry" says the third voice with just a hint of sarcasm.

"Sirius, come on, wake up. Talk to me." The man holding you leans down to talk, "Come on Padfoot it's me, Moony." He sounds so worried that you have to respond. You open your mouth but find no words so instead just roll around to face them.

The faces you are met with force you to remember: Dorrie, Charlie and Snuffles. Remus and Moody. WormtailPeter. And Harry, Harry and James. But this is MoonyRemusLupin who trustsbelieves you. And if Moony is here then maybe,

"Prongs?"

"No I'm sorry Sirius, he's" he seems to say something but looks at you and changes the sentence. "Prongs can't be here." You feel your heart droop a little but you really want to please this man so instead of asking again you say,

"Moony." You are rewarded when his face lights up with a huge smile.

"Yes I'm here and so is Harry" you feel another person's weight add to the bed.

"Hey"

"And these are Harry's friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger." There is a pause and then a high female voice speaks.

"Hello." The young voice from earlier, clearly not wanting to be outdone, copies her.

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><p><strong>Can some of you please review my stories Doing What Is Right and And Then The World Crumbled.<strong>

**Ron's next!**


	38. C38 Ron

**C38 Ron**

It's odd seeing this man so vulnerable – the stories you've heard of him show him as almost as bad as You-Know-Who and here he is; relying on Lupin to stay up, shaking and terrified. Of course seeing Harry this excited about a man he doesn't know is also odd and worrying but you know that Hermione is focusing on that. You turn your head to confirm this but find that she has gone.

The door opens and the room is crowded with everyone else in the house. "Miss Granger informs us that Mr. Black has awoken." Dumbledore says looking towards Lupin who looks like a mother bear guarding her cubs. Lupin shoots an irritated glare at Hermione and you can't say you blame him. From what you've heard today if Black is innocent then Lupin will have his friend back but the chances of Fudge giving them a chance aren't high.

Black shrinks away from the crowd and into Lupin who wraps his arms tight around him. Dumbledore steams past Lupin's look and continues. "So I was wondering if we could have a little chat. Alone." He says pointedly. It is Lupin's turn to ignore him.

"With all due respect Albus, Sirius isn't really in any condition to talk at the moment."

"Does it matter?" Says Fudge from somewhere near the door, "He's a criminal, his health isn't the problem."

"But he's innocent." Harry protests, "Didn't you see Pettigrew?"

"All we have seen is a rat, Potter." Oh, you had been hoping Snape would have left now that there was no need for him, "Hardly concrete proof. You are all obviously under a confundus charm."

"He doesn't have a wand." Harry says obstinately. Snape just sneers at him.

You are horrified to find yourself agreeing with Snape but there isn't exactly a shortage of wands with the ten of us (not including Black) having all brought them. You sidle over to Hermione.

"What did you do that for?"

"He's a criminal, Ron." She sounds very condescending.

"I know but look at Harry."

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><p><strong>Finally. I'm uploading the next chapter too as an apology for taking so long.<strong>


	39. C39 Hermione

**39 Hermione**

Ron's such an idiot worrying about how Harry feels now when Black could kill him at any moment. And as for Professor Lupin believing him, well they were obviously familiar and Lupin wanted him to be innocent and…from what you've read about werewolves.

"Listen Albus, Sirius really isn't ready to talk – he needs time to get used to all this." Lupin says firmly while Harry shoots distressed looks at everyone and Black…Black seems to have turned into a dog.

"Ah, Sirius don't do that. He doesn't like crowds" Lupin says apologetically

"Come on Sirius, turn back" Lupin strokes the dogs head and whispers to him. You knew of course that Black was an Animagus but it hadn't really sunk in until now; when Black is hiding behind Lupin. Suddenly you realize something: Black's form is a grim-like black dog; he must've been what Harry saw the night he ran away. A look at Harry tells you that he has realized the same thing but instead of feeling angry for scaring him he was petting the dog.

Snape stalks through the room, grabs Black by the neck and pulls him off the bed.

"Stop stalling Lupin. Your boyfriend is getting the kiss and there's nothing either of you can do about it." Lupin's eyes flash gold and he lunges towards Snape. Before either can do or say anything Charlie is between them.

"Don't fight, just relax. I'm sure we can work it all out." Snape steps back from him looking disgusted, "Look Remus maybe you should let Sirius answer some questions and one of us can go with him in case things get," he glances at Snape, "Out of hand." Professor Lupin looks about to protest when Professor Dumbledore steps in.

"An excellent idea Mr. Weasley. Why don't you come with us?"

"M-me?"

"Yes, you don't seem to have any emotional attachment to this like everyone else do you?"

"Err okay"

"Wonderful." Dumbledore, Fudge, Snape and Charlie leave the room, Snape dragging Black behind him.

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><p><strong>Sirius is next.<strong>


	40. C40 Sirius

**40 Sirius**

Somewhere between waking and now you have worked out what is going on. The others had reached a conclusion which had ended with this: being dragged along the floor by Snape. You had tried to steady and stand for yourself a few times but he would just speed up and look at you as if to say _'you didn't think you were getting away that easily did you?'_

Soon we were back in the sitting room and there was Peter. You growl and lunge almost subconsciously, but Snape pulls you back, turns his wand on you and snarls, in a way scarily reminiscent of how Remus sounded earlier, "Transform. Now."

You do so.

Three wands are immediately pointed at you. Charlie steps forward and steadies you. "Thanks." You mutter to him. You stand up straight and face the others. "What do you want to know?"

As earlier they seem surprised you don't put up more of a struggle.

"Well as we have no way of knowing if you are telling the truth we will do things as you would in a trial. First Severus could you go back to Hogwarts and fetch some veritaserum for Mr. Pettigrew." Dumbledore is calm and composed, Snape is looking rather disbelieving that he is going along with Peter being a rat and the minister is just letting Dumbledore do it all.

"Well then can you describe, to the best of your ability what happened on the night Lily and James Potter died." He pauses for breath and you take a moment to compose yourself, "And the following morning.

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><p><strong>Ugh, awful chapter. Charlie's next :)<strong>


	41. C41 Charlie

**41 Charlie**

You stand to Black's side, a neutral party. It wasn't that you didn't believe his story just that as Dumbledore said you have no personal attachment and you really aren't sure about Black's health or stability right now. You have however come to the conclusion that he does not deserve to return to Azkaban in his current state.

You wish that Remus or Dora were here instead; they had real affection for the man and would be better suited if something happened.

You can tell when Black answers the question that he is trying to hide his emotion but his face is an open book.

"I went to their house and –"

"Why?" Says Snape who you hadn't heard return, "Why would you check on them, didn't you just your _friend?" _He sneers at Black.

"What? He, he was my friend of course I trusted him."

"You didn't trust Lupin." Is he ever not sneering?

Black looks flustered so you pull him to the side. "Ignore him. Remus doesn't mind does he?"

"Remus was never around and he wouldn't tell us anything" Black says in a choked voice, "I didn't want to think it was him but –" he starts to whimper into your shoulder. You wrap your arms around him.

"Black." Snaps Fudge, "Answer the question." When he turns around this time you keep your hands on his shoulders so that he knows you're there.

"I didn't fully distrust Remus; I just didn't fully trust him either." They look skeptical. "As for going to their house, well I wanted to see them." You are relieved to note that he has followed your advice.

Dumbledore smiles and gestures for him to continue, "When I got there it was, the house had-" you squeeze his shoulders slightly to bring him back to reality. "The house had collapsed; I went in j-just in case" he lets out a bark of bitter laughter. "James was in the hallway. I mean his b-body, just lying there – he didn't even have his wand." Black – Sirius lets out a noise that is somewhere between a laugh and a sob. "Just lying there, dead. And I pulled him out of the rubble because I didn't want him to be more hurt." You get the feeling that he is leaving something out but something personal that has no relevance to what he is saying.

"And then." Prompts Dumbledore.

"I-I went upstairs, I thought that maybe," he stops again but this sentence does not need an end. You shake him again but this time it does not bring him back. And you know that he isn't seeing this room. He is seeing his friends dead bodies and hearing a babies cry. And you realize he is back at that night.

Snape steps forward and slaps him. "And," Sirius blinks and shakes his head to free it of memory but you can tell he still isn't in the present.

"I went upstairs to see if Lily and Harry had" he breaks off but the meaning is clear, "I found Lily, she was spayed out in front of the cot and she looked so empty that I didn't notice Harry at first but then he spoke 'Pa-foo' he said – it's what he called me." You find that you are crying, "He was terrified shaking and crying. I picked him up and rocked him 'til he quieted. I said it'd be alright.

"Then I heard someone coming. I thought it was Death Eaters, Voldemort." You, Snape and Fudge flinch at the name.

"Hold on" says Dumbledore "You thought it was Voldemort?"

"I didn't know he was gone: there was no sign of him. Anyway I set Harry down and raised my wand but it was only Hagrid.

"He asked for Harry, said that Dumbledore, that you, wanted to take him to his Aunt and Uncles'. We argued, he won. I wasn't thinking" he trails off and looks at Dumbledore, "How did you know? You shouldn't have known so soon."

Dumbledore raises an eyebrow and smiles "Continue with your story Mr. Black." Sirius glares at him for a heartbeat but concedes.

"I gave him Harry, I meant to come back to him and I told him so. I lied to him. The last thing I ever said to him and it was a lie." His voice breaks.

"It wasn't though was it?" You say, "You have come back."

**One of my favorite chapters so far. I love Charlie. Remus is next.**


	42. C42 Remus

**42 Remus**

All of you are listening at the door as it seemed the right and obvious thing to do. You are not sure how much the others can hear but with heightened senses you hear every word.

Inside Sirius begins to talk.

"I watched them leave then went after Peter. I traced all night and well into the next day. I cornered him in a crowded street – in hindsight I suppose he led me there. I pulled out my wand and he shouted to the street that I'd betrayed them" he breaks off and you hear a small murmur, words of comfort from Charlie. "Then he cut off his finger, blew up the street, transformed and ran away. I wanted to cry but I couldn't so I laughed and then. Well you know what happened next." You can almost see his wry, self-deprecating smile. How he managed to say all that so clearly and to Snape and Fudge of all people is a mystery.

There is a silence and then Dumbledore speaks "All the same I would like to hear your side of that as well."

You turn to the person next to you: Tonks. "Can I have, tea" she looks startled "I'm sorry I just don't want to hear it." She nods and detaches herself from the door then leads me through to the kitchen.

"I agree with you, you know" she says "About not wanting to hear it. Azkaban's terrible."

"You've been?" You ask in surprise. She doesn't seem the type – far too bright and cheerful.

"All Aurors go" she says in a quiet voice "It was. Well you've met the Dementors, you've felt what they're like. You've seen what they've done." She gestures feebly at the door.

"Mr. Lupin –"

"Remus"

"Remus" she smiles, she has a very pretty smile, "Do you think he'll get off? It's just I don't want to lose him again." She looks hopeful.

"I don't really know much about our laws except that they are terribly unfair. It would probably be better to ask Moody."

**Urg. Terrible chapter I'm really sorry. Dumbledore's next.**


	43. C43 Albus

**43 Albus**

Black's tale is extraordinary and yet makes more sense than it should; some puzzle pieces that before seemed forced now slot neatly into place.

"The Aurors came and the Law Enforcement people. Some of them were friends – I worked with them so I thought" he swallows, "Thought that they wouldn't be so bad." Severus snorts contemptuously "I mean; I didn't expect special treatment I just didn't think they'd treat me like they ddin't know me. But they just looked at me funny and stunned me. I woke up later chained to the chair in the courtroom and Crouch was reading off the charges. I waited; I thought he'd say when the trial was but he just told me I was guilty and said my sentence. Never thought he'd do that – we never liked each other; he seemed to think that I was wild, disrespectful and dragging the Aurors down. But he always followed the law." He scowls. "And then I'm thrown in a cell and it's so, so dark and so, so cold." His eyes darken so that he looks almost dead and leans into Charlie's arms.

But you still want to hear more.

"Then what happened? Did they leave it at that or did they want answers?" Charlie looks furious that you're making him continue and Cornelius looks just the slightest bit wary. On the other hand Black doesn't appear to care.

"They didn't want my side of what happened they _wanted_ a confession. To say I did it so they could justify it. Even fucking Bellatrix got a trial." You notice that all through this he shows no emotion, until he mentions his cousin, even though the minister of magic is right here: someone to blame his suffering on but Black doesn't even look at him.

"He" he nods at Fudge, "Comes to check every year or so and this time he has a newspaper and I don't know anything of what's happened outside – don't even know how long it's been. So I ask if I can look at it said I missed the crossword," he looks down, is he ashamed of lying? "He gave it to me and moved on. I was excited then I saw the date. Twelve years." He lets out a familiar bark of laughter. "It seemed like so much more. Anyway I read and reread and reread it. And then I saw it. The picture."

"Picture?" You enquire.

"Of the Weasley's" he shoots an apologetic look at Charlie "In Egypt and on the boys arms was a rat. Peter. So I got out."

"How?" Blusters Fudge.

Black looks at him oddly, "I don't know. I think I slipped through the bars and into the sea. I meant to go to Harry but I got sidetracked." He stops and you relent.

"Very well. Mr. Weasley if you would take Mr. Black to the bedroom." They leave, you turn to the others.

* * *

><p><strong>I've written the next chapter and a bit of the 45th but my creativity and plotline are drying up, so can you all review and tell me whose point-of-view you like best so that I can decide who it will be or you can say who you would like.<strong>

**Harry's next.**


	44. C44 Harry

**44 Harry**

You scurry away from the door thinking over all that Sirius had said and adding it to what you had heard earlier in Hogsmeade.

'_Surrounded by Dementors day and night.'_

You can't even survive one Dementor. How had Sirius managed to live with them for twelve years?

Charlie comes out leading Sirius. Neither seem to notice any of us. You hear Charlie asking something in a whisper.

"If they wanted you to confess, why didn't they give you any veritaserum?"

"Yeah. But they said I must be using dark magic to get past it and like Remus said earlier it might not have worked."

"They wouldn't have known that though."

You follow them to the room and are about to go in when Hermione grabs your arm and pulls you down to where Ron is standing and turns to you with a stern expression.

"Harry." She snaps at you, "You can't just go in there."

You stare, confused, at her "Why not?"

"He. Might. Be. A. Murderer."

"Well he isn't. They've got proof – Pettigrew and everything." Personally you think that finding one of the people he's supposed to of killed is great evidence but Hermione, it seems, does not.

"So Pettigrew's alive that doesn't Black didn't kill the others or that he isn't a Death Eater."

"Hermione's right Harry, you shouldn't trust him until we know for certain."

"I do know for certain – he's innocent. Look he was really nice when I spoke to him." This may be stretching it a little as he hardly said anything and thought you were your dad.

"Harry," Ron says patiently "He's trying to kill you."

"He hasn't come near me!" You say indignant, on Black's behalf.

"Because he got stuck pretending to be a pet dog."

"He stayed to protect his family."

"Or to find out how close the Aurors were to finding him."

"Ugh." You are so annoyed; why couldn't they just look past everything they'd heard. "Come and meet him properly." You stalk angrily off to the bedroom and knock sharply on the door. Charlie opens it.

"Err hello?"

"I just want to show Ron and Hermione that he isn't a murderer." Charlie looks back into the room and grimaces.

"Right now might not be the best time. He's not in great shape at the moment."

"What's wrong with him?" The argument slips away in face of this new crisis.

"He's just – the questioning really took things out of him?" You relax "I'm trying to get him to sleep right now. I guess you could come in, if you're quiet." He opens the door a little wider and ushers the three of you in.

Sirius is lying in a cocoon of sheets. "Sirius, you remember Harry don't you? And Ron and Hermione?"

"James?" You feel a little sad – doesn't he want you for anything more than a replacement? Charlie, catching sight of your expression says in a conciliatory tone,

"Don't worry; he keeps on calling me Gideon. He was my uncle." He explains. You go over to Sirius.

"Prongs is that you?"

"Yes" you say decisively "Yes I'm here."

He clutches at you desperately like a lost child, "I'm sorry James. I was only trying to help. I'm sorry, so, so sorry. Tell the others I'm sorry James, please."

"I'll tell them." There is no doubt what he is talking about. "It's alright Sirius. We forgive you – me and Lily, we forgive you. It wasn't your fault. It _isn't _your fault." He continues to hold you but allows sleep to claim him. You disentangle him from you.

"Thanks" Charlie looks at the two of you and sighs.

"Do you think he'll forgive himself?" You ask him.

"He might although from what I've seen today he'll probably think he imagined it. And then he's likely to become ashamed." He looks over at his brother, "So why do you think he's a murderer?"

* * *

><p><strong>Dumbledore's next again and then I really need suggestions for who to use next.<strong>


	45. C45 Albus

**45 Albus**

"Preposterous. He's lying" Cornelius says obstinately; he at least finds it easy to come to a conclusion. Severus is also disbelieving of Black's story but you suspect that is not because he finds it hard to believe. Severus nods along with the minister.

"I don't know. I think we should question everyone who has interacted with Mr. Black just to see how he has been behaving and what they think." You look around but do not allow them time to answer. "Excellent, let's start with Miss Tonks then shall we." You open the door and call out to Nymphadora. She comes out of the kitchen with Remus following curiously from behind.

"If you could come in so that we could question you about the time Mr. Black spent living here."

"Alright." Her hair has changed; it is now the colour of blackberries and hanging in ringlets. Remus has a look of fading laughter mixed with worry.

"Just a few questions, nothing to worry about."

She looks quite nervous as she enters and you pity her for it – she truly loves her cousin and it does not take a genius to realise how crushed she would be if he went back to Azkaban…or worse.

Cornelius begins, "How long has Black been staying here?" Nymphadora bristles at the implication but manages to reign in her temper.

"We – Charlie and I – found him in the garden in mid-June; I don't know the exact date."

"Can you describe that day for us?"

"Um, well we were in the garden chatting and then we heard noises; like whimpers coming from a bush. So Charlie went over to see what it was and found Snuff – Sirius in the bush. He was really thin and battered so Charlie tried to pull him out. Sirius," Her voice shakes a little on the name, "Tried to bite him, so we backed off. We left food out for him though and he came back for a week or two to eat before we could get him to come inside and let us fix him up."

"And after that; did you ever notice anything about him? Anything that would set him apart from average dogs or anything that raised your suspicions?"

"He was very receptive to emotions and he always knew when he was needed but he never acted as anything other than a pet dog."

"So he hid from you."

She rolled her eyes, "No he came straight out and told me who he was. Of course he hid you fool, I'm an Auror."

"So he didn't trust you."

She shook her head impatiently. "No I think he did but he said earlier that Moody had done something to the house so he'd know if he transformed."

"He didn't trust Moody?"

"No, not then. I think he does now but I doubt that Moody showed him much trust back then." Her voice had very quickly turned bitter.

Severus clears his throat "So what you are saying." he said silkily. "Is that Black wormed his way into your life, tricked and deceived you, put your job in jeopardy, used your limited resources under false pretences but is clearly trustworthy and innocent of the charges he is convicted of." He raises a thin eyebrow in disbelief.

Nymphadora scowls. But before she can interject he is continuing, "Added to the fact that he is a known murderer, an obviously dangerous criminal and in league with a werewolf," Ahah. You had been wondering when he would bring up Remus, "You still trust him."

Nymphadora opens then closes her mouth; struggling for an answer. Severus smirks.

**I don't think this came out too badly. Tonks doesn't know who the werewolf is but has other things on her mind. Ron's next.**


	46. C46 Ron

**46 Ron**

You didn't really understand why Charlie believed Black – it was conceivable that Harry would but we had grown up hearing stories of Black, stories that sometimes rivaled those of You-Know-Who. You had explained yourself as best you could but it was hard to find the right words and to not repeat yourself.

Luckily the awkward silence that had started when you finished talking was broken by Charlie's friend, Tonks, coming into the room.

"They want to question you now Char." She says quietly, "I'll stay here."

Charlie nods "Just as long as you don't mind entertaining these three, I have a feeling they won't leave for a long time." She gives a weak smile and sits down in his vacated chair.

"Percy would love this," you say, to break the even awkwarder silence, "Proper court case. Are they using truth potion?"

"No, I think they will for Pettigrew though." You nod and look at Harry and Hermione to try and get them to speak. Harry is leaning against the bed post with his eyes closed so that it is hard to tell if he is awake or asleep. Hermione is reading a book that she had found: _A Study Of 18__th__ Century Engravings and How They Have Influenced Modern Magic._

She meets your gaze and rolls her eyes but turns to Tonks anyway "Is this yours? It's fascinating." She waves the book.

"It's my mothers, she leant it to me. Listen do you want to go back to school? As long as you don't tell anyone anything it should be fine and this is probably very boring for you."

You are about to agree when Harry shouts his disapproval, "NO! I want to be here when he wakes up." He stares at us all defiantly, daring us to disagree. Something that, it seems, Tonks has no trouble with.

"Have you considered that you may be doing Sirius more harm than good?" She plows on before he has a chance to answer. "He seemed quite insistent earlier that you were your father. He's already lost in the past; your presence will just confuse him more."

Harry looks torn. On the one hand there is the possibility of a family here and he doesn't want to let that go, not matter how unlikely it is. On the other there is the possibility that his being here will serve only to confuse Black even more and make it less likely he will be sane even if he is freed. "Can I come back when he's coherent?"

"As long as he's ok with that then it should be fine." Tonks sighs in relief at his agreement and you resist the urge to pump the air with your fist; you are not sure how much longer you can stand being here.

You walk past the door to the main room and Tonks stops and knocks. Dumbledore opens it.

"Yes."

"I think they should go back to school."

"Well that should be –" But he is cut off by Fudge.

"No. We will need to question them about Black as well." Tonks growls softly.

"Can't it wait?"

"Absolutely not." Said Fudge firmly.

She groans and looks pleadingly at Dumbledore who indicates that it is not his decision "Well can I at least take them out to get something to eat. You must be hungry?" She turns to us. You nod furiously; only now realizing how hungry you are.

"That will be fine." Says Dumbledore cheerfully "Oh and why don't you take Charlie as well; his questioning's over and he must be hungry." Charlie nods enthusiastically and grins. "Wonderful."

Tonks grabs Charlie and pulls him out of the room. "Alright then, we'll have them back in a bit." She ushers us down the hallway.

"I'll go and fetch Remus then." You hear Dumbledore saying as you leave the house.

* * *

><p><strong>In case you couldn't tell I made up the name of the book. Remus is next.<strong>


	47. C47 Remus

**47 Remus**

Your step is unsteady as you walk into the sitting room to be questioned; not because of your story but because it will be quite hard to convince them you were not helping Sirius, considering you had not told them he was an animagus. It would be made harder by the fact that you had no real reason not to.

"Well then Remus, I would like you to tell us of the events that led up to this moment." Albus says this calmly although you can detect a hint of severity in his tone.

You clear your throat and begin. "I was walking through Hogsmeade and I saw Miss Tonks walking Sirius. I recognized him straight away and –

"So you did know that Black is an animagus?" said Fudge

"Yes, he err, became one while we were at school."

"And you deliberately withheld this information from the ministry?"

You can't think of any way out of that one so answer trythfully. "Yes"

"You've known Black for a long time haven't you Mr. Lupin?"

"Since we were eleven, yes."

"And you've been his friend all that time?"

"I regret that I haven't been a friend to Sirius for the last twelve years."

"So you do claim that you haven't been helping him."

"Apart from withholding the knowledge that he's an animagus, yes I do claim that."

"Why didn't you tell us that if you weren't on Black's side?" You can see Severus smirk behind him; he must be loving this.

"I-I don't know. I just don't know."

Luckily Albus chooses that moment to step in "It would probably have done more harm than good if we had known Cornelius. From what we've seen today Miss Tonks clearly believes in Mr. Black's innocence and always has done. Had she known of his form she would have done a much better job of keeping him hidden. And we would probably never have found him. I doubt Remus meant any harm by not telling us; he just didn't think."

You breathe a sigh of relief – it looks like you may have gotten away with it. "I am curious however as to why he became one, you said it happened while you were at Hogwarts? And I assume Mr. Pettigrew became one around the same time." He looks at you over the top of his glasses.

"Yes they did and James as well." If you're going to tell this secret you may as well do it properly. "When they found out during our second year that I was a werewolf they decided that they would find a way to help me during full moons.

They realised that werewolves are only a danger to humans and that as animals they would be perfectly safe." You lick your lips nervously. "In our fifth year they managed it; if you remember Professor" you address Dumbledore, "That that year I stopped injuring myself quite so much, well they were there to prevent it…and to take the blows themselves." You add bitterly.

Dumbledore nods in comprehension. "Ah yes. Just out of curiosity, what was Mr. Potters form?"

"A stag. That's why we called him Prongs, the antlers you know." You mimic antlers by raising your hands above your head. A flicker of amusement passes through the headmasters eyes. You blush and lower you arms.

* * *

><p><strong>Harry's next.<strong>


	48. C48 Harry

**48 Harry**

"So what did they ask you?" Said Tonks

"Just to describe all the time I'd spent around Sirius. It didn't take very long – I mean most of the time he just acted like a dog. And since we've known that he's not the most dangerous he's been is when he had that fit over Harry's parents." Answered Charlie

"You shouldn't talk about this with us around" said Hermione "In case they think that you're telling us what to say."

We were sitting on a bench eating chips: Ron and Charlie were gulping them down as though they hadn't eaten for a week and Hermione was pretty hungry but neither you nor Tonks seemed to have an appetite. You push yours to the side.

"Can I give these to Sirius when we get back? He's probably hungry, especially if he's only been eating dog food."

"Good idea." Tonks smiled weakly and took the container from you; she put it and her own into her bag and sat back down. "Are you alright? This must be a pretty big shock for you."

You nod then shake your head. "Yeah, I only found out a few hours ago that he was supposed to have betrayed my parents and now it turns out he didn't…I don't know anymore."

"We don't know for certain that he didn't Harry." Hermione said sympathetically. But this just makes you angrier.

"Of course we do. Pettigrew's captured and he says he didn't and…and" it suddenly occurs to you that Sirius's word really is all the evidence you have that he's telling the truth.

"Exactly." Hermione nods.

Tonks shakes her head angrily. "There's more than that. There's the fact that the so-called eye-witnesses were obliviated before giving their statements so we don't know what happened on the street. Then there's the fact that Pettigrew hasn't shown himself in twelve years – if he was an innocent victim in all this then why was he hiding?"

"I don't know! But you can't just decide what happened because it's what you want."

"And you can't ignore everything just because you don't want the authorities to be wrong about other stuff."

"Dora!" Charlie half shouts to gain her attention, "Your hair's changing." You sigh in relief as she settles herself down.

"Maybe we should go back." You suggest; you really want to see Sirius again.

"Nah we've got ages." Says Charlie. "They've still got to question Moody."

You had hoped Tonks would feel the same as you but she is silent on the matter; she seems to be thinking about something.

* * *

><p><strong>Tonks is next.<strong>


	49. C49 Tonks

**49 Tonks**

You are considering what Snape had said; about Sirius being in league with a werewolf, it hadn't really registered before now but suddenly it was all you could think of. Was Snape just making things up?

"Hey Charlie," you hiss at your best friend, "When you were being questioned did they mention anything about Sirius being friends with a werewolf?"

"No, why?"

"Why do you think?" You snap.

"That's Professor Lupin." Says Hermione smugly, you were really starting to get annoyed with her. "He's a werewolf."

"What?" Say both Harry and Ron loudly, making several muggles stare at us.

"Are you mental Hermione?" Ron continues "Or are we talking about a different Lupin?" You are inclined to agree with him – the Remus Lupin you had met was nothing like your preconceived idea of a lycanthrope. Nevertheless you were determined not to be prejudiced – after all you had already decided that you liked Remus. Granger continued.

"Honestly I'm beginning to wonder if either of you have ever even opened a book." She rolls her eyes and you can't help but giggle at their expressions, "His boggart was a full moon and every time he's been ill it's been on the full moon."

"Dumbledore wouldn't hire a werewolf." Ron says exasperatedly "What if he bit someone?"

"Actually Ron," Charlie interrupts "There was an advance in medicine a few years ago that makes it so a transformed werewolf keeps their human mind and is no more danger than an animagus. So unless Remus wanted to bite someone he'd be completely harmless."

"Does it matter?" Harry breaks in unexpectedly. "I mean are werewolves that bad? Because I only know muggle stories about them and in my experience muggles have got very little right about Wizarding stuff."

"Well…" you say slowly "There are some werewolves who are the reason there are stereotypes like that. Fenrir Greyback for example is very vicious and seems to regard becoming a werewolf the best thing that ever happened to him. And then there are the others, and Remus is most likely one of them, whose life is a constant struggle because of the prejudice surrounding them. They don't have equal rights and finding a job is very difficult. The penalties for breaking the law are a lot more severe too."

"As for muggle myths," says Charlie "They've got most of it right except that you can kill them the same as you can kill anyone else, not just with a silver bullet."

"Well it won't affect Sirius' case will it?" Harry says worriedly.

"It shouldn't but knowing Fudge it probably will." You sigh resignedly and hope that everyone comes out of this safely.

* * *

><p><strong>Snape's up next to describe Remus's questioning.<strong>


	50. C50 Snape

**50 Snape **

This is not going anything like you had hoped it would. So far Lupin had said nothing incriminating and every subtle glance you had to Dumbledore that clearly said _'He's lying. Let's try veritaserum'_ had been mistaken for something else. Or, more likely, he had known exactly what they meant and had just chosen to ignore you.

So far the only good thing that has come from this interview is proof that James Potter wasn't a saint. Obviously _you_ had already known this but no one else ever seemed to notice when he broke the law. And it's not like anything can be done about that now he's dead.

You also have a bad feeling that Black is going to be found innocent.

"Continue telling us what happened today Remus." Albus says in an unbearably smug tone which you _know_ is directed at you.

"Well" Lupin starts up again "I asked Miss Tonks about Sirius, just to see if she knew it was him. But she mistook my intentions and hit me. I gathered that she thought I was Sirius' previous owner," you smirk at the thought of Black, in his human form, being kept as a pet "And that I had abused him." Lupin glares at the minister here. He is probably imagining eating him. You hope he does as even Dumbledore wouldn't be able to get him out of that. "She then apperated to get away from me but I grabbed hold of her arm and came too." He blushes and you roll your eyes; it is as though he's living in the Victorian age.

"I explained who I was and why I was there. Understandably she thought I was insane. Around then Mr. Weasley came and Miss Tonks explained the situation to him. After he recovered from his laughter Sirius came in holding the clipping of the Weasley's in Egypt in his mouth. He gave it to me, I think Charlie started to worry around then, I looked at it for a bit then realised what I was doing and told Sirius to transform." Annoyingly enough this corresponds with what you've already been told.

"He just pushed it back at me. Charlie took it then and I think he started to believe me. We established that it might be Sirius and I asked Miss Tonks why she hadn't arrested him yet.

Sirius transformed then and made some comment about how I sounded like the ministry." Fudge looks rather disgusted at being compared to a werewolf. "Charlie and I pointed our wands at him but Miss Tonks hugged him. He tried to explain what he meant but ended up rambling about Azkaban. I asked him to answer questions and then asked him why he betrayed Lily and James.

He explained about the switch and how Peter framed him." You consider yawning but decide that Albus probably won't appreciate it "Then Charlie asked what his family had to do with it and Sirius explained that Ron's rat was Peter and how he had escaped and found his way here. Then I asked him why he had transformed then and he said that we would have forced him to sooner or later anyway and that he though Moody was listening in. I went to the door to see if he was right and as he was invited Moody in.

Moody seemed surprised that Sirius knew he was there but when he came into the living room, Sirius greeted him as though nothing had happened. They had a conversation and then Sirius asked me if I believed him. I said that I believed Peter was alive but needed proof of everything else. He admitted that he didn't have any but said that he'd testify under veritaserum. I pointed out that he wouldn't be allowed to unless he got a trial and for that we needed evidence.

He said he'd show memories but Moody said that they could be tampered with. So I suggested that I go and find Peter. We agreed on that and I went back to Hogwarts where I found Ron quite quickly and asked for his rat. Peter struggled and tried to run away but I stunned him and then explained as quickly as possible to Ron, Harry and Hermione. And then Severus turned up. He asked me what I was doing and I explained that I'd found Sirius and was pretending to be on his side which was mostly true." You snort in disbelief – what Lupin had told you had been a blatant lie except for the bit about him finding Black.

"And then" you say silkily to remind him of your presence "You lied to me about Black's whereabouts."

Lupin swallows and you smirk "Ah, yes well I wanted to check Sirius' story before we alerted anyone properly. I err, told Severus to contact the ministry if he wanted," you now realise that this had been an obvious attempt to get you in trouble for false information "And left. I got back here and explained my mistake but then Harry, Ron and Hermione came through the fire and distracted us. Sirius mistook Harry for James and I had to take him to bed while the others explained the situation to the children.

We found a bird cage to put Peter in and used the spell on him. We stunned him, and then Sirius screamed. I stood up to go to him but Harry asked to go and we let him. We turned Peter back and put him in the cage. I asked Miss Tonks if she had any sleeping potion or dreamless sleep, she did so I went to give them to Sirius, he fell asleep and I left with Harry. You arrived a while later which was around the time Sirius should have woken so I went to check on him. He slept for a little longer but woke up after a bit. I told him who I was and he asked for James." You smirk; that must have made Lupin _so _happy. "I didn't want to tell him that James was dead again so I just said that he couldn't come. And then Hermione told you he was awake."

Lupin finally stops talking and looks at us. Albus nods, happy with his explanation. You sigh; this is depressingly similar to the other stories and sadly has no obvious lies.

"Well I think that covers that. Remus can you send Alastor through.

This time you don't bother to hide your groan.

* * *

><p><strong>It's my dad's birthday today! So I'm posting the 50th chapter. Wow, I never thought it would get this far. It's also my longest chapter yet with 1,105 words!<strong>

**As you can see I don't write well as Snape, which is why most of this is Remus talking with a few snarky thoughts. Sirius is up next.**


	51. C51 Sirius

**51 Sirius**

You open your eyes and look around for Dorrie or Remus or Charlie but instead find that your room is empty. You blink and the room turns to your cell; you shiver. Was the whole thing a dream? Or worse, was the trial over and you had been sent back. Back to the darkness and the pain and the despair and the screams. Back, back, back.

You don't remember moving, trying to run but you must assume that that is what happened as you are now on the floor. The duvet has come with you and muffled your landing but not enough that you haven't made any noise.

The doorknob rattles and you can hear voices fighting to be heard.

"She's locked the door." You think that that's Fudge.

"Are you _actually_ surprised? What with the way you've been treating him." That was Remus, good old Moony.

"Alohamora." Fudge again.

"I'd appreciate it if you gave my student a little more credit than _that._" That one was Moody, no mistaking his rough growl.

"SIRIUS, SIRIUS!" Remus shouts at the door.

You open your mouth to shout back but cannot find the words. So instead crawl to the door and knock three times in quick succession and then another two with your palm.

Remus breathes a sigh of relief. "He's alright; that was our code –

"You made up codes as well – can you get any more childish?" A snide voice cuts in. Snivillus.

"Our code during the war" Remus continues remarkably calmly "As an extra safety precaution along with a security question. It didn't hurt to be cautious."

"And _what_ a lot of good it did you." Said Snape snarkily.

There's the sound of a door opening and closing then calls for the others. Who was here? It sounded like Dorrie but Dorrie hadn't left…had she? She wouldn't have left him, not now, she wouldn't.

"Oh!" her voice was closer now and it was definitely his cousin, why had she left, had she changed her mind? Did she now hate him? "Has something happened? Is Sirius okay?" She still cared. You release a breath you didn't know you had been holding and press yourself closer to the door.

"He's fine" came Snape's soft voice "Or at least we assume he is; it's hard to know as the door is locked and he refuses to speak."

"Well he's no way of getting out and we don't need him now." Fudge again. "Now that the children are back we can question them. And oh, has anyone else interacted with Black in his time here?"

"Err, we went to see my mum and dad a few weeks ago and Mrs. Weasley was there too. Do you want me to go and fetch them.?"

"No. I'll get Shacklebolt to do it; he'll need to be informed about all this anyway."

"Are you sure?" Dorrie sounds like she is trying very hard to be respectful but you are not sure why she is bothering.

"Yes."

"It might be easier if I –

"I've made my decision Miss Tonks." She huffs and they move away from your room.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry about the wait. I'm not sure about this one.<strong>

**Next is Andromeda with a very short chapter.**


	52. C52 Andromeda

**52 Andromeda**

When Kingsley Shacklebolt turns up on your doorstep you aren't very surprised. You hadn't given the best impression at your questioning and had expected him to call again sooner – you were only glad you had nothing to give away.

"Hello, again." He sounds ever so slightly nervous. "Black has been found living at your daughter's under the guise of a pet dog." He said all this very quickly but still in his ever-present calm voice. "And the minister has asked me to fetch you, your husband and Molly Weasley as you all came into contact with him during this time." You feel a thrill of anticipation at the chance to see Sirius again, after so long.

"I'll go and get Ted." You barely spare Shacklebolt a glance before rushing off to find your husband.

"Ted, Ted, guess what?" he raises his head in surprise from the newspaper and you feel a twinge of guilt. He has rarely seen you this excited since Sirius' breakout and you know you have been worrying him with your moods. "Sirius has been found!"

"And this is a good thing?"

You falter; you hadn't thought about what would happen to your cousin just concentrated on the knowledge that he was alright. "Yes, no, yes. Shacklebolt's here again – he's going to question everyone who has come into contact with Sirius."

"We…met him?"

"Oops I forgot. You remember Snuffles – Dora's dog," he nods "Well it turns out that that's Sirius in disguise."

"When did he become an animagus?"

"I don't know. We'll ask Shacklebolt, he has to go and pick up Molly as well."

* * *

><p><strong>Kingsley is a little younger in my mind and less calm so he might be a bit OOC. But I'll try to stick to his character.<strong>

**If I put a poll up about this story would anyone vote on it?**

**Very short, sadly the next one (Molly) is even shorter :( My muses are vanishing.**


	53. C53 Molly

**Ok, first off I apologise for the length of this chapter, in my defence it is Molly again and as shown in her previous chapter I can't write very well as her.**

**Second. Can more of you please review; I only got on review last time: Thank you Twilighter No1 this chapter's for you :) But I really do want to know which aspects of this story you like so that I can put more of that in.**

**Third. I'm currently writing a rather long oneshot where Sirius gets out of Azkaban early (not through escaping or someone finding Peter though) and I was wondering if any of you would read it? The style would be similar to this but with an obviously different plot.**

**Once again please, please review.**

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><p><strong>53 Molly<strong>

You are having dinner when the knock comes and you feel rather annoyed that they couldn't wait for a more decent time.

Arthur opens the door and starts in surprise at the hulking form of Kingsley Shacklebolt.

"Kingsley? We weren't expecting you."

Kingsley sighs "Honestly Arthur I wasn't expecting to come either. But it's Molly I need."

"M-me?"

"I'm sorry. From what I've been told they've found Black and want to question everyone who's come into contact with him."

You don't think about the implications of that sentence and instead fixate on the end. "Why? Shouldn't they be taking him back to prison?"

Kingsley sighs again "Apparently there's some new evidence." You huff.

"Hold on then," says Arthur suddenly "Why do you need Molly; she hasn't been near Black. Err, you haven't have you dear?"

"No. No of course I haven't. Why _do_ you want me?"

Kingsley answers wearily "I don't know if you remember meeting a certain pet dog belonging to a Miss Tonks…"

* * *

><p><strong>Kingsley's next with a longer chapter.<strong>


	54. C54 Kingsley

**54 Kingsley**

Arthur came along so that Molly had someone to support her; she was understandably shocked by the knowledge that she had been so close to a murderer. You had parroted out the condensed version of events that you had been given by the minister so many times tonight that you could probably repeat it in your sleep.

The two couples were behaving very differently. Andromeda was switching between excited and worried faster than you could blink, while Ted watched her in bemusement.

Whereas Molly was ranting inconsolably about the deviousness of criminals and how she couldn't believe they were letting children near him. You did understand this concern as two of the people with Black were her sons.

You studiously ignored the four of them as you dissaperated to Tonks' home and waited for them to appear.

"Right I'll just let them know we're here" you have the urge to rub your hand together and instead shove them in your pockets. You turn to the door and halt when you find that Andromeda has already barged inside and is calling for her daughter.

"Dora. Nymphadora, are you here?"

"Mum! Oh I'm so glad you're here. And you dad. Oh and Molly, Arthur do come in." She hugs her parents and smiles uneasily at the Weasley's. You stifle a yawn and push the door closed with a foot. Tonks comes up to you and grins.

"How are you? Did they wake you up?"

"No, I've been doing paperwork all evening. But if they were to send me away now, I wouldn't complain." She snorts lightly, "So what's been going on here. No hold on. I don't want to hear you gush about Black, I've had quite enough of that from your mother."

"Don't be mean. She misses him."

"I know that; I just don't need to hear it. And then there was Molly going on and on about how foolish and dangerous this is. Although I do agree on the danger." You add as an afterthought.

"Don't bother; Pettigrew's locked in a cage and Sirius isn't healthy enough to attack anyone." She sighs and you steel yourself to interrupt. "Actually I'm worried about how mum will react when she sees him; he was so strong before and now he's just…" she trails off and for the first time you find yourself a little worried about Black's welfare.

* * *

><p><strong>Fudge is next up.<strong>


	55. C55 Fudge

**Finally! Now that I have a proper plot going on I'm finding it harder and harder to finish chapters. Can you tell me how I did with Fudge? He was rather difficult to write as, hence the long wait.**

**I'm not sure who'll be up next.**

* * *

><p><strong>55 Fudge<strong>

Moody's trial was unsatisfying in that it only fueled to serve the belief that Black could be innocent. What was even more annoying was that Dumbledore seemed to be actually considering the story. It was a disaster. And Black couldn't be innocent, he just couldn't and not least because of how the public would view you.

You were starting to wish that someone had told Harry all about Black so that he could fully understand what he had done as the boy had so far been steadfastly on Black's side and being The-Boy-Who-Lived would make him a useful ally.

There is a commotion outside and Shacklebolt sticks his head in to inform you of the other witness's arrival. He looks very flustered and tired. You nod your approval and ask him to stay as extra and unbiased protection; mostly because you don't think anyone else should be going to sleep right now if you can't.

Shacklebolt sighs, "Alright Sir, should I go in and watch over Black then; make sure he doesn't try anything?"

"Hmm. Yes good idea." He nods respectfully and closes the door. You sink into a chair and wait for Harry to come in; Moody should have told him to by now.

After waiting a few more moments of trying to avoid Dumbledore's piercing gaze the door opened.

"Uh, Mr. Moody said you wanted to talk to me next."

"Yes and he certainly took his time about it." You huff.

"Yeah, umm, want do you want to know?"

"Just tell us about any interactions you've had with Mr. Black, Harry." Dumbledore says pleasantly; he's still acting like this is a game or something.

"Ok, well I met him today after we, err me and Ron and Hermione, followed Professor Lupin through the fire"

"Which you did why?" Snape sneers at him.

"Well I'd only just heard about Sirius supposedly betraying my parents and it seemed like a good idea." But that would mean that he knew about everything Black did and still trusted him. Unbelievable.

"How did you hear about the betrayal?" Albus sounds only a little interested.

Harry pauses for a moment then answers hurriedly "Ron and Hermione overheard –

Albus stares at him over the rim of his glasses and raises an eyebrow.

"Alright, I snuck into Hogsmeade with Ron and Hermione and we overheard the minister," he nods at you, "Professors McGonagall, Flitwick and Hagrid telling Madam Rosmerta about it."

Dumbledore turns to stare at you. You groan at your carelessness; that's the last time you try to impress a woman.


	56. C56 Snape

**This is awful. And late. And short. Feel free to shout at me.**

**I can garentee that the next one is longer and should be up sometome soon, maybe Boxing Day. It's also in Kingsleys POV and I always make Kingsley a little younger than he probably is, sorry.**

**Now onto the chapter (which is basically Snape complaining):**

* * *

><p><strong>56 Snape<strong>

As the murky sky fades into inky black…we are still stuck in a small bungalow in London with a stupid politician and a senile old man who keeps putting off killing a criminal who is obviously guilty. Outside this room is the murderer in question, his werewolf friend, the most paranoid man in Britain, three teenagers, Black's remaining family who don't seem able to let go of the past and a few _Weasley's._

Potter's questioning just finished. Black has clearly confounded him without a wand somehow; it's the only explanation.

He is not innocent.

It is a pity that you are the only one able to grasp this simple fact however. Well and Fudge…but you don't think his vote really counts.

Then again Black probably wouldn't need to confound him. Potter's so naïve he'll believe anything if you talk nicely enough.

Black's probably laughing at how easy this is. He's got them all fooled with his act; pretending to be all weak and ill.

You can hear _Her_ voice in my mind telling me to give him a chance, the story fits and he was Her friend after all.

You ignore it. Now…how can you make this so Lupin gets arrested too?

* * *

><p><strong>Merry Christmas!<strong>


	57. C57 Kingsley

**Oops, I almost forgot about this one.**

**My sister (OttoIsMyDog go read her stories) has told me that Sirius wasn't an Auror according to JK or something like that but I generally go by the books and my imagination, partly so that I have an excuse for getting things wrong and mostly so I can pretend my headcanon _is _canon.**

**This chapter is dedicated to Twilighter no1 because you is the only one who ever reviews this any more. (I'm hinting at something here people, I hope you can tell)**

* * *

><p><strong>57 Kingsley<strong>

Black was never your friend. That said, he was a good Auror and if either of you had ever bothered to strike up a conversation you probably would have gotten on.

Then he was in Azkaban and you forgot about him. Obviously you didn't forget he existed. But you, like every other witch or wizard out there, forgot the man he had been before. Forgot that he had even been a man and a good one. He had been a rising star in the Auror department when you had only just been starting. He and Potter had made an incredible team.

Oddly none of this seemed to matter once the Potter's died. After that all he was, was Black. Black heart, black soul, black magic.

And you never knew him properly, so why do you blame yourself for his current state. It's not like you believe his story. More that the unnerving way he is staring at you makes you wish that something had been done back then. So that he would not be such a hollow shell now.

"Justice." It is a whisper, barely even there but in the overbearing quiet of the room, Black may as well of yelled. You do not move or acknowledge him; you are already facing his way so why show that you have heard him; he probably barely knows that you are there.

"That's why they did it. Because they had ignored their duty for so long they needed to be seen doing something." It is as though he is holding half a conversation.

"I begged for release you know. Just for that one day, just to say goodbye" he faltered and stared, wide-eyed and scared into my eyes. "Why couldn't I say goodbye? Was it so bad to want that? I would have gone back" now that he had started he seemed unable to stop, "I know that it was my fault, they didn't need to remind me of that. But I never wanted them dead, I didn't plan it, I didn't!" He was shouting by the end and some detached part of your mind is wondering why no one has come in. The rest is busy asking what he is talking about.

"And this time it's the same. I didn't want to get anyone hurt; I was only trying to help. It was an accident." Somewhere during his speech he has crawled forward so that he is right in your face. "And now they're going to lock me up again. Help me? Please help me."

"No one's hurt." Are the first words that come to mind because, to the best of your knowledge, no one is. Well Black's mental state is up for debate but apart from that…

* * *

><p><strong>Hmmm, the endings a bit off but it'll do. I think Sirius will be next.<strong>


	58. 58 Sirius

**First off can I just say that I am really sorry I let this stay un-updated for so long; I've been having a less than good time of things for the past couple of years and this story just got pushed aside. But! I have no intention of never completing it although there is a possibility that I will find a satisfactory closing point and plan a sequel. My heart's back in it now though and thank you to anyone still reading.**

**I've edited the story so that it's in first person and the punctuation's better. I've probably still got a lot of mistakes but I'm working through them.**

**Apart from the tenses the story's much the same as it ever was so if anyone out there is still reading this (unlikely I know) there's no need to reread anything.**

* * *

><p><strong>52 Sirius<strong>

Someone was hurt. No matter what this man said I knew that someone was hurt. Partly gut feeling and partly the screams still resounding in my head.

Maybe the man was hard of hearing or maybe he was trying not to worry me. I decide to think it is the latter; it is nice when people care.

Even if it is pretend.

Another day I would say that the screams were nightmares or memories but I am not in the _darkdark__**dark **_anymore.

I am safe.


	59. 59 Peter

**53 Peter**

Through the cage I could see the proceedings unfold. By now I was more than a little worried about how things were playing out. I had just watched the end of the interview with Harry wherein he had been questioned about my behavior in the three years he had known me.

As I had done very little over this time I wasn't too worried except that he had quite clearly been racking his brains for anything even a little suspicious that I had done.

Part of me was in favour of transforming here and now just to get it over with; I couldn't see anything else happening to save me from the inevitable and a growing part of me didn't want it to.

I thought about the things I could say to try and get a lighter sentence. I'd joined the Death Eaters with the intention of spying but had been too cowardly to go through with it. Over the past two years the dark lord had attempted to return twice and I had done nothing to help or assist.

I knew that there was nothing I could ever say or do to make my actions better but every minute of this was making it worse. I was still too much of a coward to move.

Seeing Sirius had been humbling; listening to his account even more so. I know what I did and I know the consequences but for the most part when I dwelled on them I would think more of Harry than Sirius or Remus.

But…as children Sirius had been so much more than he was now. If his childhood self was in his place he would be laughing at all the events. Not the sad laugh that substituted tears, nor the true, happy laugh that had been so common at the beginning of our friendship. He would laugh an almost cruel, mocking laugh at how convoluted and unlawful the law had become. I missed all his laughs save the tearful one. That was, until today, the last thing I had heard from him. It haunted me, that noise; shocking and powerful and horribly empty.

Ron's coming in now; seeing him hurts rather more than I expected. I still don't move.


	60. C60 Ron

**60 Ron**

I had been dreading my interview but when it comes I'm glad to escape from mum's clutches. Dad was worried too but as usual his was a much less obtrusive concern; once mum moved on from me to check on Charlie, Harry and Hermione he took me aside and checked with me what had happened so far.

I didn't know what to say, mostly because with the house full of competent people I had stopped being worried about Black or even being quite so worried about Harry's attachment and moved on to concern about if I'd upset Harry too much with my distrust.

But I could hardly say that to my dad, could I? It was childish enough in my head to be so clingy and dependent and I don't think anyone's going to want to listen to me being a baby when Black's right here.

So like I say, I'm kind of glad when my turn to be interviewed arrives.

Of course my relief doesn't make the pressure any easier to cope with. I can't help but worry I'm messing everything up as I recount my experiences as Scabbers's owner.

Even now though, talking to Professor Dumbledore and the minister of magic of all people, I'm still more worried about Harry's reaction. Scabbers – Pettigrew – has been a singularly uninteresting animal my entire life. He's certainly never done anything to suggest that he's actually a dark wizard in hiding.

I don't really get why they want this information anyway considering that they have proof that he has been. But I'm not questioned much about Black in the end, just a couple of questions about whether or not he'd seemed dangerous (no) and how I thought Harry had been after talking to him (hopeful, disappointed, concerned but mostly hopeful).


	61. 61 Remus

**61 Remus**

I was still hovering outside Sirius' door, I felt inexplicably jealous of Shacklebolt at the moment even though I knew my own connection with Sirius was tenuous at best. I knew, obviously, why he wanted to see James so badly and that it didn't mean he wanted Harry or I any less but it still hurt.

I wanted to be in the room with him again, to curl around him and comfort him, to let him know that I would never, ever leave again.

I wanted him to forgive me.

I knew he would of course, he was good at forgiving; terrible at seeing himself as anything other than the villain, at understanding that his own pain is just as important as anyone else's.

I realise, then, that I want to see James too. More than I have done at any point over the last decade, I want him to stand in front of me and forgive me, because James had always been the only one of us with any sense of self-worth and if he could forgive me then that would mean that maybe I hadn't ruined everything after all.

I slumped against the door and sighed. I missed them all so much. I missed Peter too; missed the way he was always _there_ which had been something none of us had appreciated anywhere near as much as we should have done.

Merlin, but I missed having friends.


	62. Arthur

**62 Arthur**

To both our reliefs I had been allowed to sit in on Molly's interview. It doesn't take long though it is interesting to watch the three men questioning her.

Professor Dumbledore focuses mainly on Scabbers while the minister tries to reroute the conversation to Black. Molly is far more open to the minister's questions than she is to Dumbledore's.

Snape rarely speaks but when he does he also seems to lean towards Black's misdeeds.

The questioning on Scabbers' behavior does take longer due to our experience with him having lasted twelve years whereas Molly had only met Black for barely an hour.

When we leave the interview my thoughts are muddled. Professor Dumbledore asks us to wait half an hour and fetch everybody else in, except Kingsley and Black, for a final verdict.

We explain that to the others and wait for, what is presumably an interview with Pettigrew to finish. It didn't take them any longer than the half hour they'd asked us to wait so everyone, with Lupin in front, went inside.


	63. 63 Harry

**63 Harry**

I heard very little of Dumbledore's speech when we entered, too aware that I may soon be gaining a family. But I settled to listen once I realised that no real decision had been made.

It was clear that while Dumbledore was, at the very least, prepared to give Sirius a chance, the minister was far too stuck on being right to waver.

As it turned out, none of our statements were official yet and if there was a real trial we would probably have to speak again. I could barely hold my tongue at this point because I was so excited at the hint of future.

Around me most of the room was respectfully quiet; only Professor Lupin, Tonks and her mother were as obviously impatient as me.

Professor Lupin was the first to speak after Dumbledore explained the situation.

"What about Sirius and Pete...Pettigrew? Will you hear their testimonies now or later?"

"As they are the accused they will only get to say their pieces at an actual trial." Dumbledore's voice was grave and sympathetic.

"That's if the rat turns out to be Pettigrew at all." Snape hissed quietly in Lupin's direction; malice obvious in his tone. Lupin swallowed and looked down.

"Sirius is in no state for a trial." Mrs. Tonks had risen and was glaring at the two powerful wizards imperiously. "He's been locked away for over a decade and from what my daughter has told me he has not reacted well to the presence of so many."

"Black's well-being is hardly our chief concern, madam." Fudge blustered; equal parts uncomfortable and irritated.

"Perhaps not," said her husband, rising to stand alongside his wife, "But surely you are invested in justice? And you cannot expect a proper testimony if the person in question cannot hold himself in front of people or speak a steady sentence. You cannot expect to hear the truth if you send a man lost in the past and frightened of shadows to speak it to an audience as unsympathetic as we all have been."

To my side I could see Tonks preening in pride at her father's words.

Fudge winced and spoke hurriedly; "Of course Black will be allowed a healer to see to him though I have to insist that he stays in a holding cell at the ministry for the time being."

Tonks opened her mouth to argue at the same time as me but we were forestalled by Dumbledore's soft smile and raised hand.

"I think that sounds quite reasonable doesn't it? Shall we see if Mr. Black is feeling any better?"

And that blew any thoughts of the future from my mind.


	64. 64 Kingsley

**64 Kingsley**

I hear professor Dumbledore summon everyone into the sitting room and the subsequent soft thunder of feet. Neither Black nor I were called in.

I don't know what to say in the hollow silence that follows. Black is still wild-eyed and frantic, still staring at me in an almost childish hope of rescue. I can't help but feel pity for him; still seated on the floor he has curled up as small as possible and refuses to take his eyes off of me. He still wears the rags he must have escaped in and the skin that is visible is raised in goose-bumps, bruises and old scars.

He is thin, too thin, to truly support himself were he to stand. I wonder if all prisoners look this way and try to beat back the strange sympathy I feel for them in this moment.

I don't speak; I can't help but feel that Black won't hear or believe any comfort I could offer and even if he would I can find no such words inside me.

Neither of us moved nor spoke for a long while until we heard; easily despite the closed door, footsteps coming towards our room.

Hopeful as I was that we might finally be allowed to know what was going on, I could not help but think they were, perhaps, lost and searching for a kitchen or bathroom instead. Still I stood and opened the door to welcome a change of guard. Black disturbed me.

Lupin stood outside, not bothering to conceal his disappointment when I opened the door instead of his friend.

"You can come through now." His words scramble over themselves to release.

"Both of us?" Black hasn't moved, hasn't even looked up at the doors open or expressed any feeling towards his friend. Lupin nods quickly and steers past me towards Black.

Black doesn't shy away or show any sign of fear to Lupin but neither does he move from his position. I feel conflicted about trying to help mostly because I do not think my influence will be of any use.

Lupin pitches his voice too quiet for me to hear his words to Black. I don't bother stepping closer or asking him to speak up. After being stuck in this room with Black for so long the only person I could see him being a danger too was himself and anyone foolish enough to grow close to him.


	65. 65 Sirius

**C65 Sirius**

I can't help but want to hide when Remus enters; I'm not afraid of him and I'm no longer quite so lost and I've got this nice man I can talk to who won't tell me if I'm right or wrong but doesn't treat me like a monster either.

I like the stranger just for this. I think there might be something wrong with me.

Remus is soft and kind and doesn't shout even though he should because I haven't been nice to him and he touches my arm and helps me up and I want to just /stop/ and stay like this because I feel so safe.

But he leads me through the hallway and the stranger follows us and then we're all in a room and it's cramped and full of people and they're all staring.

I miss my dark and empty.

I try to meet their faces but freeze when I reach the first hateful glare. In the silence, Dumbledore starts to speak, I don't think many of them are paying attention to him but I try to be attentative anyway.

The words drift past me: too clever and proper to understand. I turn back to the people; there's Harry who's staring at me like a hawk, and there's Dorrie who's biting her lip and holding onto Andromeda like a lifeline. Andromeda looks furious at something but her face softens when she catches me looking. To her side is Ted biting his lip in the exact same way as his daughter and squashed next to them are the Weasleys: Molly; who keeps checking on each of her children in turn, next to her Arthur is paying rapt attention to Dumbledore possibly in the hope that this will soon be over. Charlie's gaze switches between his family and Dorrie's but occasionally finds me and stops there.

Aside from him are the three children: Harry and his two friends, Harry's gaze is fixed firmly on me and when I meet it he smiles and twitches as if to come over. His friends are both paying more attention to him than anything else although the girl does pay more notice of Dumbledore than her counterpart.

On Dumbledore's left is Minister Fudge who seems particularly disgruntled with events and on his right is Snape whose expression keeps flickering from controlled to furious. I avoid looking at either for too long.

Next to me Remus' hand is still clutched round my wrist and his face is tired and drawn and I don't know what to do. I want to look after him and make sure he never gets hurt again but how can I do that when I'm the reason he's hurting so badly?

Dumbledore finishes up his spiel with a faintly frustrated expression that makes it obvious he's aware of how inattentive everyone is being. Remus nudges me and asks in an undertone if I understand. I nod quickly not wanting to come off as rude or ungrateful. I am grateful for this: I never planned on getting people involved I just wanted to get rid of Peter and then I'd let them take me back if I had to.


	66. 66 Harry

**66 Harry**

I'm too excited to pay attention to Dumbledore a second time 'round. I can't look away from Sirius; he's still pale and drawn and over-aware but he looks more alive than before; more like he's in the present. I'd be lying to say it didn't excite me.

I know Ron and Hermione are still worried about me and that Mrs. Weasley thinks I'm ill or confounded but I can't bring myself to care. I know they don't really get it and that's my fault, I guess, because I don't talk about the Dursleys.

Though, last year, Ron saw the bars so he knows a bit but I think everyone else thought he was exaggerating; and I wasn't going to say anything, was I? There's a reason I never told anyone about the cupboard.

I wonder what Sirius would say about the cupboard. Not that I'd tell him or anything, it's just a nice daydream.

I could tell him, maybe, if he was a bit more whole but I don't know if I'd know how. Ron and I haven't talked about it; last year was a big mess, just one thing after another and there wasn't time and neither of us wanted to start that conversation.

But sometimes I say things, flip, throwaway comments meant as a joke and I can see him filing them away for later.

{_'[What are they like?] Horrible. Well not all of them but my aunt, uncle and cousin are though.'_

'_I've got_ presents_?'_

'_All those times I could have died and didn't manage it? They'll be furious.'_

'_Dudley would think it was a brilliant joke if I got stuck up a chimney.'_

'_THERE IS NO HARRY POTTER HERE!'_}

It's sort of comforting I suppose.


End file.
